


A Fool for Waiting.

by Zeolite



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: A world were Katara needs Zuko as much as he needs her, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, F/M, Post-Episode: s03e18-21 Sozin's Comet, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Zutara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:41:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24831019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeolite/pseuds/Zeolite
Summary: "I have a duty to him.""Who are you and what do you want?""You, I want you."----------Takes place all the way from the end of the war to 7 years after Sozin's Comet (ASC).Zuko and Katara find comfort in one another and even though they are miles apart, their letters to one another keep each other sane. Through their individual problems, they come to see that they need each other more than they realised and in a way that neither of them suspected.----------Slow burn to age up the characters. I always felt it was unrealistic that teen romances lasted through until Aang's death. Some work but in the real world most don't. There are some letters but there will be face-to-face interaction between Zuko and Katara in most chapters.Posting on Saturdays/Sundays
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar), Aang/Original Character, Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 135
Kudos: 179
Collections: ZukoXKatara





	1. Seperation

**Author's Note:**

> This is my quarantine night time passion. 
> 
> I have been in the world of fanfiction for 10+ years and have written a few stories but never committed to publishing many and always chickened out before finishing them 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this. I was always of the opinion that the idea of Aang and Katara's relationship lasting was something that wouldn't work. People grow and change and teen relationships tend not to last. I always enjoyed Mai as a character but felt as though she often gaslighted Zuko and they would be happier with other people. 
> 
> Love Zeo x

0 Years after Sozin's Comet (ASC)

Zuko - 16 Katara - 14

The few days after Zuko was crowned Firelord felt unreal, how could it be real? Everyone was safe, Ozai was defeated, Azula locked up and the war finally over. Zuko couldn’t believe his luck. It could easily have gone the other way, it nearly did.

Zuko rubbed the bandage over his chest to relieve some of the itch, he knew that feeling. It was going to scar but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. This was a scar he was proud of, he would wear it with honour. This scar was a badge of his growth, it was proof he had something to care for and look after. He knew he would do anything for his friends and his people.

Though Zuko had to be honest with himself, he hadn’t even thought of the consequences when he jumped in front of Azula’s lightning. His only thought was that he had to save her, what would be the point of winning the war if it meant living in a world without Katara.

He couldn’t quite pinpoint the moment when she became so important to him. He suspected it was when he realised she was not so easily going to accept him, it was a challenge he could not back down from. The lack of trust in him he could understand and he even admired it. After all, it was his fault, she was the first to trust him in the caves and he crushed it just as soon as it began. Katara cares more than anyone. He wanted to care for people that much, he wanted to be like her and give everything in himself to protect what he cared about. When Katara finally did accept him, he wore her trust like armour. It was a prize he was honoured by, a gift he would never take advantage of again. While the others had quickly accepted him she had remained firm. Katara’s trust had to be earned and this was something he would continue to earn for as long as she would let him.

She was his closest confidant, there had not been many people he had even spoken his mother’s name to and yet speaking to her was as calming and soothing as her element. Talking to her was easy. He cherished that. In a life with few friends, to have one like her was a blessing. It had meant that he could open up to others too. Maybe it was the similarity between them but Sokka was a fast friend.

He admired Sokka, the Water Tribe teen was not born with a voice that people would follow but he had earned one. He was an ingenious thinker and planner. While some looked down at him because of his lack of bending Zuko wished he had his talent. The thought crossed his mind that Sokka would likely be a better Firelord than he would. Sokka would have the chance to lead his own Tribe though and Zuko couldn’t wait to see that day.

He had formed a strange relationship with Aang, it was one of mutual respect but was marred by their differing views of the world and likely their age difference. Aang the forever optimist and Zuko the realist. He would never want to see any harm come to Aang and greatly enjoyed his company but it was a little more business-like. The last time a Firelord was trusted by an Avatar he was betrayed. Zuko knew that this would not happen again but it still hung in the air.

Toph was an easy ally. When the group raged about whatever the newest disagreement was she was there with him. She was uncomplicated, constant and easy to understand. It helped that they had similar childhoods, one of luxury and wealth. Both understood each other. Zuko did regret that they never had a proper ‘field trip’ Perhaps he would make it up to her one day.

A knock rang against the door.

A tentative smile graced his face at the new arrival. Mai.

“Ready for briefings?” She asked, coming to straighten his official robes. “A noble wanted to come get you himself but I thought I would take on that chore.” Her monotone voice hid her own smile.

“Thank you for burdening yourself with such a chore.” Zuko arched an eyebrow and leaned in to kiss her.

Zuko deserved this. He had to battle to where he was now. He looked after his friends and now his country; Mai looked after him. How could she have stood up to Azula if she didn’t love him? Their relationship was easy to slip back into. He knew where he stood with Mai. They had practically been matched together since childhood. These last few months had only confirmed that Mai was right for him and right for the country. A nobleman's daughter, born and raised. A perfect match for the Firelord. He was content. She relaxed him, when they were together he was safe in the knowledge that she would be honest with him.

Mai joined Zuko in the briefings, as did the Avatar gang. Katara sat across from him with a strange look. It was the same look she has given him every time they had seen each other in the last few days. He wasn’t sure what the look meant. They hadn't been able to talk properly since they went against Azula. He made a mental note to find time to chat with her. Until then he had to get through the day's meetings.

Peace talks were intense. Zuko knew they would be, the Fire Nation had a lot to pay for but he was determined that it wasn’t going to be the average citizen that paid the price. They had been through enough.

The colonies were to be re-integrated under Earth Kingdom control but the citizens were given a choice, return to the Fire Nation or integrate into Earth Kingdom life. Reparations would be paid to those places most affected by the war. The Southern Water was to get a large share, they had been devastated by raids. It was only fair. Zuko was happy that he could help his friends in this way. Sokka was to be in charge of overseeing how this money was to be used, it was the logical choice. He had the skills and had close friends in the Fire Nation if troubles arose. Deciding how to best pay back the other nations was a little more tricky. Every foreign noble wanted the best deal, most meetings devolved into talking in circles.

Educational and medical policies were set up between nations to share knowledge and improve lives. Engineers from Fire Nation were to be sent to the other nations to improve the sharing of technology. One benefit of war meant that their technology had taken a huge leap forward, Zuko felt obliged to share these advances for the world.

It was 3 days before Zuko managed to pin down Katara to talk. Katara and the others were due to leave the Fire Nation soon to travel to help spread peace. The Avatar needed to show his face to the world as a saviour.

She was sitting by the turtle duck pond, the waning light hiding her features from him. Her hair tumbled down her back and her blue skirt fell around her knees. She wore her blue robes in a traditional Fire Nation style to help with the humid heat. She gently twirled her fingers and the water around the turtle ducklings danced, the young animals played with the ripples and chirped happily.

“You mind if I join you?” Zuko asked, stepping to her side.

Katara’s blue eyes turned up to see him, that same unbearable look still swirling behind them. She nodded, giving nothing away. Zuko sat cross-legged beside her, close but not touching. They sat in silence for a moment enjoying the peace.

“Wha-” He started to say. Just as she turned her head and opened her mouth to speak.

“Sorry, you go.” He waved his hand for her to talk.

She turned her head back to the pond.

“I want to be angry at you.”

Katara offered nothing else. Zuko’s mind whirled. Had he said something? Did he do something to harm her trust in him? Where the peace talks not going as well as he thought?

Before he had time to question her, she continued.

“I want to be angry at you. You risked everything Zuko. This war wouldn’t have been worth it all if you died and could not lead your nation. And yet you nearly threw that all away. To save me. A ‘water tribe peasant’.” She almost glared at him but her face soon softened and tears threatened to fall.

Zuko opened and closed his mouth unsure what to say. Sure, he could see where she was coming from. But there was always Iroh to lead, it wouldn’t have been such a loss. In fact, he felt as if he didn’t deserve to be Firelord. He had done so much wrong.

“I want to be angry but I can’t because you saved me.”

He looked at her in surprise. His good eye-widening.

“I want to be angry but all I feel is how grateful I am. I am happy I am still here. Thank you.” She turned her eyes to him and smiled a sad smile. Zuko relaxed, at least she wasn’t angry.

Zuko coughed to clear his throat. “I didn’t think about that. You are my friend Katara. Winning the war wouldn’t have been worth it without friends to be there with you afterwards. I would do it again Katara, don’t doubt that. I would do it for you, any of our friends, anyone in my nation. Anyone in need.” Katara stared at Zuko, listening intently. “You mean a lot to me so please don’t forget that.” He smiled.

“When I couldn’t get to you, I thought you were gone. I was desperate to get to you. I thought I wouldn’t get to you in time.” Katara’s face pulled into a grimace full of pain. “Your chest… you will always have that scar because of me.”

Zuko rubbed his chest slightly, it was true. Even with all of Katara’s healing, it would remain with him forever. “That's not a bad thing.” Katara looked confused at his words. He explained “I always thought scars were a mark of shame, that's what my first scar said to the world. But this one is different, it shows that I have something to fight for and protect. I saved my friend, that is something to wear with pride.” The Fire Lord smiled at her, trying to convey the emotion behind his words.

Katara gave a small smile back. “When did you get so wise?” She let out a breath she had been holding.

“Somewhere in between Ba Sing Se and the Western air temple, I think.” He laughed and so did she, it was a small laugh. A laugh between friends shaped by their shared past. The good and the bad.

Katara rested her head on his shoulder and looked back to the pond. “Thank you. And for what it is worth I am glad I let you join the group.” It was meant as a joke but she didn’t know how close to the truth her words were, Zuko would never have been part of the group fully if it wasn’t for her.

Zuko relished the weight of his friend's head on his shoulder, it anchored him. He was happy.

They left only a few days later. Zuko couldn’t help feel the loss of them, more specifically a certain blue-eyed water bender.


	2. Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I would update on Sundays but I had this edited and ready to go... so here it is! 
> 
> Any feedback would be amazing! 
> 
> Love Zeo x
> 
> ASC - After Sozin's Comet

1 ASC

Zuko - 17 Katara - 15

_Dear Zuko,_

_Aang and I have enjoyed being on Kyoshi Island for the last few weeks. Toph has really thrown herself into the metal bending academy, she has nearly 50 students now. They hang off her every word, she loves it of course. It has really made Kyoshi Island come alive, so many people are traveling here just to see the metal benders. Kyoshi is definitely growing._

_Suki is also enjoying being home, and I think everyone is happy to have her back. She really was a born leader. I think she needed to come home to heal a little bit. I am still sad about her and Sokka, I thought that they were ‘it’ for each other you know? I guess when Sokka was called back home to help the tribe and Sokka couldn’t stay with her, Suki realised that being with him would mean moving to the Southern Water Tribe and leaving her role. I think it is going to take some time for her to heal, Sokka as well._

_On a good note, Pakku has asked me back to the south. He wants me to help train the water benders in the south. I am so excited. I know I trained the avatar and all but this feels so different. Like being a proper master. It means I get to spend some time with Sokka as well, I miss him. Before I go to the Water Tribe I was going to come visit the Fire Nation, my dad wanted me to accompany some nobles and engineers that are coming to the tribe. I hope that is okay with you? I don’t want to impose. It would be nice to see you though, it’s been so long! I should be in the fire nation in a few weeks._

_Right back to me soon!_

_Love always,_   
_Katara_

Zuko re-read the letter. She should be here soon. He was happy that she was coming to the Fire Nation; he hadn’t seen her in nearly 6 months. A lot had happened in that time. All in all the peace talks had taken just over a year. It was a hard year, unsurprisingly no nations were willing to fully trust the word of the Fire Nation and its lord. While treaties and papers were drawn up it was only going to be Zuko’s continued hard work that was going to gain their respect and regain the nation’s honor. He was well-practiced at that, ‘regaining honor’ should by now be his middle name. It would take time but he was willing to try. There was of course opposition. Some older nobles were angry that they were pandering to the other nations. Why should they, the great Fire Nation, bow down? He tried to replace these nobles as discreetly as possible but it was a balancing act. Zuko was well aware that they ran in there own secret circles where plots to have away with him were murmured but it was hard to prove.

Zuko tightened the sash around his waist and bushed some dust off the arm of his robe. Once his crown was placed in his topknot he walked out his room and made his way to the docks. Aang couldn’t bring Katara on Appa due to the Earth King needing him in Ba Sing Se. Zuko doubted it was a pressing matter, probably showing him off as another party piece for his bear's entertainment. He wanted to be there when Katara arrived, it was a happy coincidence that he had business on the docks with merchants.

It was noon before her ship was spotted at the Great Gates. When it finally docked Zuko gave a polite goodbye to the merchant he was talking to and hurried to the ship. He checked his robes again and made sure this crown was not crooked.

There she was. Her hair blew across her face in the strong sea wind but her eyes pierced through, shining. She made sure she had a strong grip on her large bag and she glanced around at her surroundings. Zuko went to raise his hand to wave but felt stupid. What Fire Lord would wave. But she was his friend so what does it matter. He raised his right hand to get her attention.

When her eyes found him she smiled and raised her hand in return. She bounded out of the ship to him. They went to hug each other but saw eyes watching. Best not to here. Instead, they nodded at each other their smiles widening.

“Good to see you, Fire Lord.” She smirked at him as they walked side by side towards the palace.

Zuko laughed “You don’t have to call me that you know.” He took her bag from her placed it over his shoulder. He could feel his guards shift around them.

“It's what you are though. How are you? Are you sleeping better?” She clutched her hands behind her back, the concern obvious in her voice. She had been worried about him when he wrote to her last. Zuko had told her that he was worried about the opposing nobles and what that meant for his position.

Zuko’s face straightened into a line, he didn’t want to worry her but he knew he could trust her with his concerns. “Sleep is coming easier, you get used to it. I am fine though I promise. Making progress.” His hand tightened on the strap of her bag.

She looked unsatisfied with the answer but she didn’t dwell on it. “Well, that's good… How’s Mai?” She placed her face into a smile but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Zuko welcomed the change in subject.

Mai, he could talk about easier, it was always easier to talk about someone else. “She is enjoying her role, she has some responsibilities on the council. She does well. Enjoys the luxuries as well I think. She certainly wouldn’t be walking all the way back to the palace, would have been a palanquin all the way.” He laughed, he couldn’t stand the palanquins but she loved them, it meant the least effort possible.

Katara laughed with him “Oh I might take a ride with her at some point, she can show me the joys of them.”

“What about Aang?” He turned the questions onto her.

Katara swung her arms by her side. “Well, really well. He enjoys being shown all over the world. You know him, he enjoys the spectacle.”

“What about you, do you enjoy it?” He looked at her waiting.

She let out a breath “It can be a little much but who wouldn’t enjoy being a decorated ‘war hero’. I will be glad to be in one place for a time though. I can’t wait to get my feet back on to some ice.”

He knew that it had been a long time since she had been home, nearly 4 months. He knew what it was like to miss home, in slightly different circumstances of course. He couldn’t imagine what it was like to be away from a loving family. He sympathised but he couldn’t empathise.

“I am sure the ice misses you too.” Looked at her as best as he could out of his bad eye. “I am sure your father and Sokka will be glad to have you back. You will make a great master, you are already a great master.” She really was.

Katara bumped Zuko’s left shoulder with her own. “Thanks. Come on let's get you home.” She smirked.

-

Later in the day, Katara was meeting with the nobles that she was going to be escorting to the Southern Water Tribe. Zuko really should have been working in his office but he was too excited to spend time with her. He didn’t really admit to anyone how excited he was about her being in the Fire Nation, not even to Mai. He didn’t know what she would think about it. Mai and Katara got on but not in the way that Zuko got on with Katara. They had a bond, a bond that has only grown through constant letters to one another. They wrote to each other every month no matter where she was traveling, she was always sure to let him know where she was. They confided in one another, there was no judgment between them. Zuko wrote to her about his struggles with politics and Katara spoke of her weariness of her being on the road. Zuko thought that he may have gone mad without her words. Of course, he told Mai and even Iroh about his worries but not in detail, writing down his thoughts was easier. Knowing that it was Katara reading his words was also a comfort.

Katara’s meeting lasted longer than expected so he went to meet Mai in the private dining room. They did this most nights, he assumed that Katara would join them when she could.  
Zuko walked into the room and went to kiss Mai on the forehead. “Hi, how was your day?” He asked gently.

Mai let out a breath “It was as boring as usual. Meeting after meeting that felt as though they went nowhere.” Mai played with her food with her chopsticks.

Zuko wasn’t sure how to reply. She never really had much to say at dinner, so little seemed to excite her. On most days it was a blessing as he was usually too tired to get into any in-depth conversations. Today though Zuko wanted to be excited. “Oh, I am sorry.” Was all he had to say.

“Well, I heard from my maid that you had a good day at least.” Her eyes flicked to Zuko for a response.

The Firelord rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah it was good, obviously Katara arrived today… well, you know that. She might be joining us for dinner as well.”

“Of course. Lots of people apparently saw you at the docks, even carrying her bag.” She squinted at him.

Zuko finished his mouthful. “I thought that she must have had a long journey and I just wanted to help.”

“We have people for that Zuko.” She didn’t look at him.

“She is my friend.” He defended.

Mai sighed. “Yes but you are the Firelord Zuko, there are certain appearances that we have to keep up.”

“I really don’t see the big-”

The doors opened and Katara stepped into the room. She had a smile on her face until she sensed the mood. “Um hi. Am I intruding?” She stood in the doorway.

Zuko went to speak but Mai cut him off. “Of course not Katara. It is lovely that you are here to keep Zuko company. I am tired so I will be going to bed. We will have to have breakfast together in the morning.” Mai stood to leave, her gaze steely and her food barely touched.

Katara seemed unfazed. “Oh well, I hope you have a good sleep.” She moved further into the room.

Zuko stood to bid Mai goodbye. “Good night Mai.”

Mai glided towards him and placed her hand on his good cheek. She stood almost flush to him. Mai leaned in slowly and Zuko was frozen. Her lips pressed to his in a deep kiss and then moved to whisper into his ear. “I expect I shall see you in my rooms later...” And with that, she left.

Zuko wasn’t sure how long had passed until Katara coughed. “Things are… passionate… between you I see.” Zuko’s cheeks heated and he swiftly sat back down.

Once again Zuko rubbed the back of his head, a nervous tick.

“Um yeah, she is like that sometimes.” It was a lie. Mai was not a passionate person and never in front of people. He wasn’t sure what had caused that display.

Katara sat down on his right and servants swiftly moved to place food in front of her. The water tribe woman smiled at each of them and gave a thank you. Picking up her chopsticks she soon began to eat with enthusiasm.

In between mouthfuls, she spoke “That's great… I wish Aang was like that.” She shoved in her next mouthful. “Oh, this food is amazing!”

Zuko didn’t want to dwell on the conversation of Aang being passionate so continued with the topic of food. “When I realised that your meeting was running late I had them make some more so it was hot for you. The big pot in the middle is stewed sea prunes, I think it is your favorite right?” He knew it was her favorite. He knew that from her letters but didn’t want to admit that he kept track of such details.

“You do spoil me!” Katara exclaimed, reaching quickly for the large pot and pouring herself a hearty serving. Zuko wanted to spoil her, on her rare visits he wanted to make her smile as often as possible. When he read her letters he always imagined her smilling, the opportunity to see it in person was too good to pass up on.

They finished their food in relative silence, only occasionally commenting on the different dishes. Once they both had their fill the sun had already set but they decided it was the perfect time to go for a stroll. They remained in the grounds of the palace, going any further would require guards.

When walking they spoke about many things, the techniques Katara was most excited to teach, Zuko’s latest tea recipe that he had received from Iroh, Katara’s run-in with a stuck up noble-born woman and Zuko’s newest pair of dual broadswords. It was nice. Zuko almost regretted how nice it was, it would only make her departing harder. Once they reached the duck pond they took a seat and gazed at the sleeping turtle ducks.

It was much later now and he knew that Katara must be tired from traveling but he was selfish and didn’t want to leave her company so soon. Not when he knew she was going to be leaving again tomorrow. The nobles didn’t want to wait around.

“This has been lovely. I feel like we have gotten closer through our letters so it is nice to be able to actually talk in person.” Katara looked happy and relaxed as she spoke. She put her hands behind her and her legs stretched out as she leaned back. “And for once it is nice not to be paraded around in front of high-class people.” She closed her eyes.

Zuko was concerned, he knew that the life of the avatar was getting to her. Especially when she herself was only a companion and she was not the person that everyone wanted to see.

“You need to talk to Aang about it.” He copied her relaxed pose and looked at her, turning his head.

Katara sighed. “We have, well not in so many words. But he has agreed to come back to the tribe with me. At least for the time being. I am sure he will get frustrated and want to get back to traveling but I want to stay for as long as is allowed.”

“Allowed? Katara you are your own person. You can choose where you want to be.” Zuko’s brow furrowed. Here was Katara, master water bender, a war hero in her own right. She had the right to decide where she stayed.

Katara sat up and drew her knees into herself. “It’s not so easy Zuko, I have a duty to Aang. I have to help him as best I can. You have a duty to your nation, so you stay. I have a duty to Aang, so I travel.”

Zuko also sat up but crossed his legs and turned his body to face her. “I have a duty to a literal nation. He is just a person.”

“Not just a person, the avatar.” Katara placed her head on her knees, her hair forming a curtain around her face.

He didn’t like not seeing her eyes, he loved seeing her emotions dancing over them. He moved his hand and brushed her hair to one side, behind her ear so he could see her. She looked at him surprised. “Katara you always look after everyone else before yourself. Please for once give yourself a break and do what you want. If Aang cares, then he will do this for you.”

Katara released a big breath.

“Okay, okay. I just… it’s difficult.” She kept her head on her knees but turned to face him, her cheek pressing into her knee underneath her water tribe robes.

Zuko couldn’t help but stare. His best friend she may be but she was beautiful and only enhanced by the moonlight. Her eyes shone, her cheeks were tinged with frustration, and her arms wrapped around herself almost to block out the world.

“Promise you will just try and enjoy being at home, don’t think about the future for now. Be with your people, the people you fought so hard for. You deserve it.” He just wanted her to be happy, it was all he had ever wanted.

Katara now turned to face him, now copying his pose and sat cross-legged opposite him. “Fine but you have to promise me something.”

Zuko straightened his back. “Anything.” He said with such resolve it almost burnt within him.

“Promise me you will be careful. People were talking about potential plots against you. These ‘Purests’ seem dangerous and want things to go back to the way they were. You mean too much to me for you to get hurt.” Her eyes bore into him.

“I can assure you that it is nothing. But I promise. I will be careful.” Zuko meant it, if it was important to Katara that he took this seriously then he would. He doesn’t break his promises, not to her. Her trust meant too much.

Karata abruptly stuck out her hand to him, “Let's shake on it then.” She looked at him expectantly.

“Fine.” He grasped her hand and gave a firm shake. Her hand felt good in his, he didn’t want to let go. They stayed like that, hands closed around each other, for longer than was necessary but neither seemed to want to sacrifice the contact. When they finally did let go they both stood up and Katara gave a yawn.

“I’ll walk you to your room.” And so Zuko did, guiding her through the maze of corridors. Ones that he had known since childhood.

When they stood outside her door they only gazed at each other. “I am glad I came to see you.” She stuck a stray bit of hair behind her ear.

Zuko smirked. “I thought you were here only to escort people to the tribe?”

Katara only laughed. “Oh, that? That's just an added benefit. Much more important to grace you with my presence.” Zuko could only agree with the sentiment.

When they had stopped their quiet laughter Katara placed a hand on his arm and went onto her toes to place a slow kiss on his scarred cheek. “Night then Zuko.” With that, she slipped into her room.

Zuko was routed to the spot. Why did that feel so normal, so needed? Why did it feel right? He shook his head, she was his friend, she was just being nice. But the spot on his scar still felt burnt. He dismissed the thought, justifying that he was only tired.

He thought back to Mai’s earlier suggestion of sharing a bed tonight. As he walked to Mai’s room he could only think of Katara’s hand on his arm. Why did it feel so wrong to now be going to Mai? These thoughts plagued him but he still went.

The next day Zuko rose with the sun and left Mai’s room after dressing. The night with Mai had cleared his mind but his feelings were still muddled. He didn’t have long to dwell however as Katara’s ship left only an hour later. As soon as Katara had come to his Nation and confused him, she was gone.


	3. A duty to my people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I find writing in more of Zuko's perspective easier I really enjoy being in Katara's headspace. I would love to hear what you think of this chapter and anything that might improve it! 
> 
> I am thinking I might also upload on a Wednesday but I am undecided at the moment. I currently have up to chapter 6 written so we will see :D 
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Love Zeo x

3 ASC 

Zuko - 19 Katara - 17 

Katara stretched her arms and legs as far as they could go on her small bed, her joints popped slightly. Her hands came up to her face and rubbed her eyes, brushing away the sleep from the corners. As Katara’s eyes got used to the bright sun coming from in between the curtains she stumbled to get ready for the day. She got dressed in her training clothes and placed her heavy coat over the top. Today was another day filled with training and chores. But she relished it, she loved her time in the Southern Water Tribe and never wanted to waste a moment of it. The last two years since she started teaching with Pakku had flown by, well if she was honest the time in the tribe flew by. The other six months of the year that she travelled with Aang seemed much slower. That was the agreement, 6 months in the tribe and 6 months on the road. It worked for them but Katara suspected that neither of them was truly happy. Though, she didn’t know how to correct it. 

As she walked out of her own little igloo, one that she was very proud of as she had made it herself, she saw the fishermen setting out for the morning trip and the elders of the tribe stoking the fire pit in the middle of the tribe. Aang could not be seen but that was normal, he usually went to take Appa for a fly first thing in the morning. It wasn’t Appa who was feeling cooped up though, they had only been in the South for 3 months and Aang already seemed to complain daily. It wasn’t even just to Katara that he complained too, anyone that was within earshot was sure to be told how useless he felt. It was starting to frustrate the tribe and Katara. 

Katara turned up the path that led her past the fire pit and towards the main communal building, she was greeted by everyone that she passed. A lot had changed in the tribe, the buildings, the number of benders and the technology they had. But the people never changed in spirit. They were all one family. The engineers that Katara had brought from the Fire Nation had done wonders. They now had metal structures to help keep the worst of the weather away and even some of their ships now incorporated metal. It made trips for food much safer. They lost very few of their tribe in accidents now. Due to their help, the Fire Nation now stood in much better stead with the tribe. They regularly welcomed Fire Nationals to their tribe and their trade routes with the Fire Nation rivalled even that of the Earth Kingdom. Katara was of course overjoyed by this not only did it mean a better life for her people but on a personal level, it was comforting to know that her family did not hate her dearest friend.

Zuko and Katara had continued to write to each other over the years, it was her one constant no matter if she was in the Water Tribe or if she was travelling. It was much easier now she had a more permanent address for half of the year. The letters were a lifeline for both of them. A place to vent and receive advice. A place to express achievements and receive compliments. A place to express even the smallest of worries and receive reassurance back. Katara would be the first to admit that she never suspected that Zuko, the prince that chased them all over the world, would become her closest confidant. She truly didn't know what she would do without their letters to one another.

Normally their letters to each other had a generally happy tone, however, Katara was a little worried about the Firelord’s last letter, he spoke of the pressure he was under from nobles to find a Firelady. 

_‘I am so sick and tired of them bringing it up every single meeting. They keep saying Mai is the perfect woman for the job, noble-born and the perfect lady. Well, Mai isn’t perfect, no one is. We have more important issues in the Fire Nation than my state of Marriage. I want to choose for myself when the time is right. I want it to mean something when I marry, not just based on who is going to give me the best heirs. Mai is becoming more annoyed as well, it is making life with her… difficult.’_

While Katara would agree Mai really was the best candidate, after all they happened to be in a relationship so surely it would be a marriage of love, she understood that Zuko had more important issues with his nation. Katara still hadn’t replied to Zuko’s letter, it had arrived a few days ago. She had been unsure to reply. 

She didn’t know how to help him when it came to relationships. She, herself, was in no position to give advice. She was 17, Katara had been with Aang for 3 years and they had barely even slept next to each other. There was also an ache in Katara’s chest when she thought about Zuko marrying. She didn’t understand this ache. Katara had no claim to Zuko, they were only friends. But if they were only friends why did the thought of him marrying hurt so much? She could only blame the pain on the fact that Zuko would be happy and she would not. She would continue to be in a relationship where the most common form of communication was arguments. She shouldn’t think this way, she cared for Zuko and should only be happy for him, as long as he got what he wanted. That was the important thing. 

Katara tried to shrug off her confusing thoughts the best that she could. She would reply later. 

Walking up the ice steps to the main building in the Southern Water tribe she kept her eyes out for her brother. Before her lessons, she had a meeting about a potential new fishing route for the tribe. Sokka had taken on a much larger role in the tribe since he had split with Suki. Katara suspected that it was the only thing that was keeping him sane. He missed her desperately, he didn’t say but Katara could tell. His smiles never quite reached his eyes. When he had first come back home Katara had received panicked letters from her father. Hakoda talked about how he wouldn’t come on fishing trips and he barely ate. Once that phase had passed a more concerning phase began. Sokka was seen with more than his fair share of women. Katara wasn’t sure how far he had got with them but it was worrying all the same. Each of these ‘relationships’ never lasted long. Sokka would write excitedly about a new girl and then only a few weeks later would write that things had ended. Sokka always stated a reason for why they were not good enough. It was clear to Katara that each one of the traits these girls apparently lacked sounded suspiciously like ones that Suki did hold. 

Sokka did after a year settle into a peace within the tribe, he took on more and more roles from her father, grooming him to be chief one day. He took solace in that. But he still did not make as many jokes. 

Katara had only written to Suki a handful of times, she worried that her letters to the Kyoshi warrior might be painful. Most of the news she heard about Suki was through Toph’s letters, though she was sure that it was Suki that wrote them for the blind earth bender. Katara doubted that Toph would trust anyone else. Toph was still on Kyoshi island and her bending school has made Kyoshi blossom. The bending school was 175 strong, earth benders came from all over the kingdom hoping for a chance to train under Master Toph. Hundreds applied but few succeed. Katara suspected that part of the fun for Toph was making the selection process unbearably rigorous. It seemed to work though. 

It was while thinking about her friends on Kyoshi that she finally spotted Sokka, at the same time her brother saw her and waved her over. 

Sokka threw an arm around her shoulder and gave a squeeze. “You seen Aang this morning?” 

Her head shook as they walked towards the meeting room, Sokka’s arm still firmly around her. 

“Not yet, you know him. He has his routine in the morning.” Katara was used to him disappearing for hours at a time. 

Sokka looked slightly confused at this. “Oh well, he spoke to me last night telling me he had something important to talk to you about. I would have thought he would have come to find you. Nevermind I am sure it is fine.” He gave a small smile, having to tilt his head to look down at her. In the last few years he had filled out his 18-year-old frame, he was just shy of 6 foot and his wiry teenage muscles were morphing into the muscles of a hard working chief. 

Katara mulled this over. “Yeah, I am sure.” But she wasn’t. Katara knew that Aang had been wanting to say something to her and she was sure it was along the lines of ‘I want to leave’. 

After the meeting, Sokka and Katara shared a small breakfast at the communal fire pit, roasted fish with some Fire Nation seasoning. It was spicy but it was fast becoming a staple in her tribe ever since the engineers brought fire flakes with them. 

With still no sign of Aang Katara headed to the training school. While her normal days were a mix of meditation, healing and sparing, today was the day that she and Pakku were grading some of their higher-level students. She was excited about today, she got to let off some steam. 

One particular student, Shodah, had nearly beaten her with an incredibly well-done octopus form but she soon managed to get him by absorbing the blows with her water cloak. She knocked him down when his footing was off for just a split second. It was a fun fight, Katara would hate to admit it but she missed the fighting. It gave her a rush. She certainly missed bending against other elements. She had been able to fight a few willing Fire Nation engineers but they had left long ago and Aang never wanted to spar. He always claimed that they were at peace, why would they need to train just the two of them. 

While she had defeated Shoda he had still passed his grading. It would have been unfair if he hadn't, if that was the rule then no one would ever pass as not one student had bested her yet. Katara bowed to her student and she spotted a blur of orange out of the corner of her eye. Aang was finally back. 

She dismissed herself from the training area, knowing that Pakku was to test the remaining students anyway and walked towards where Appa was landing in the makeshift stable. 

Katara stood in the doorway and waited. She observed Aang. He was still gangly, only 15, but had shot up in the last 6 months. He was now slightly above her own 5 foot 6 in height. It was strange to see him grow up so much. He was different in so many ways but still seemed to remain unchanged. He was handsome in his own way, Katara had always thought that. Did he still like her appearance? If he did he never gave much sign to it anymore. 

When Aang still had not noticed her she gave a half cough. “Um hi there Aang.” 

The air bender whirled around, his feet lifting slightly off the ground and the air currents moved with him. 

“Oh hi Katara! We had a great trip out today. We went to the edge of the pole. Saw loads of great ice formations that would be amazing to slide down but then I realised they were the same ones from a few weeks ago.” He looked sad, bored almost. 

“Oh sorry.” She didn’t really have much else to say. She waited again hoping that he would bring up what he wanted to talk about. But he never did. He was avoiding it, she could tell. So they continued to talk about other topics. They seemed to talk about everything and yet it meant nothing. The story of his trip was a cover for something he didn’t want to talk about. 

Katara didn’t want to press him, for the first time in a while they were not discussing them going off to travel again. She knew what the conversation would be about if she pressed him. Katara didn’t want to leave. 6 months was the bargain, he had promised. She loved her life here too much. She was useful here, her talents were needed. She wasn’t some oddity for nobles that just wanted to have a conversation with her just so that they could claim that they had spoken to a war hero. 

It was much later in the day and Aang was still avoiding what he had to say. So Katara took herself off to write her letter to Zuko. 

_‘Dear Zuko,_

_I am so sorry that you are finding your nobles difficult. I can understand that they want stability for the nation but that shouldn’t come at the expense of your feelings. At least they are only thinking about a marriage to Mai. Surely that wouldn’t be so bad? I am not saying that you should, you have to make that decision yourself. But it seems from your letter that she might not want this either? I mean we are all still teenagers. We should be allowed to live a little. We had to grow up so fast because of the war. I am sure if you are honest with them they might hold off for a little while longer._

_Why has it become so difficult with Mai? The last time I was in the Fire Nation things seemed to be going so well. Though that was a year ago now. Are things not the same? Remember you can always talk to me._

_Things have been similar with Aang recently, difficult I mean. All he does is complain about being ‘stuck’ in the water tribe and even when we are travelling he complains about coming back. It hurts because I love it here so much. I have a purpose here. I get the feeling that he wants to talk about it properly with me but he can’t find the courage. And if I am honest with myself I don’t want to bring it up either. I have a feeling it will mean that things will change and not in a way I like._

_Please write back soon. I miss you always,_

_Katara’_

Katara stared at the letter in her hands. Maybe she had said too much. Maybe she shouldn’t pry into Zuko’s relationship. But it was obvious that there were cracks that were showing between himself and Mai. Katara worried that those cracks might be too hard to bear. As she thought harder about it though she realised that even when Zuko’s relationship had seemed the strongest there were some signs that Katara didn’t like. Mai was usually void of emotion and dismissed a lot of things that Zuko was passionate about. Zuko didn’t need that, he needed someone that would build him up and support his goals. But it was not her place to say, especially in a letter where words might be misread. Katara also cared for Mai in her own right, not just as an extension of Zuko. Mai was a friend she didn't want to talk ill of her. Katara resolved to leave the letter as it was and to send on the first ship out in the morning. 

When Katara joined her father and brother for their evening meal Aang was not to be seen, this stung her but she was happy to spend time with her family. They were predictable, her father would always try his best to cook and when Sokka ate too much he would complain. It was a simple routine that made her happy.

The next morning Katara handed her letter to the captain of the ship who was to head for the Fire Nation. When she turned around Aang was there waiting for her. 

“Can we talk?” Was all he said. 

Katara breathed in deeply. “Sure.” 

They walked back to Katara’s home in silence. Once they arrived they sat opposite each other, a small fire between them which had burnt to glowing embers in the night. 

“We need to leave.” Aang's face was immobile. 

This infuriated her. “That's not fair Aang, I have a right to be with my family. 6 months. That was always the deal and you know it. You know how hard it is for me to travel. I know you don’t like being here for so long but I thought you cared for me enough to understand that it is important. My people need me.” 

He went to reply but Katara cut him off. “All you do is complain about being in my home, and I am sick of it. You could do anything you wanted to here. There is plenty to entertain you and yet you complain you are bored. Well, do something then. I have had enough. I fought in the war so I could come home. I know I have a duty to you Aang and that is why I go with you but I have a duty to my people too.” 

Aang let her finish, she could tell her words stung him but he remained calm. 

“I have a duty to my people too.” Was all he replied. 

“Don’t you think I know that Aang. But that's the whole world! A duty to the whole world is too much for me.” Katara waved her hands out at her sides, her emotions felt overwhelming. 

“No Katara, I have a duty to MY people.” He reached into the pocket of his yellow and orange winter coat and pulled out a letter. Katara didn’t understand what he meant. “I got this from the Earth King. Some people are coming forward and saying they are air benders. They must have remained quiet, being descendants from Air nomads and all. But now there is finally a stable and lasting peace they are coming forward. I have to help them. This could be my chance to rebuild.” 

Katara was stunned. This was impossible. Aang was the last airbender, how could this happen. 

“I need to help them and I need you to help me. I need you Katara.” He looked at her with begging eyes. 

So that was it, it didn’t matter about her happiness. But how could she argue? Aang was right this was huge, but it still pained her. Aang was right, he needed her, she had a duty to him. She always would have. Ever since she found him in that iceberg. 

So that was it, she would have to put her own life on hold so Aang’s could move forward. That is the way it would always be. The life and goals of the Avatar would always outweigh that of a water tribe peasant. 

They were to leave the next morning. Katara told her father and brother and they were overcome with joy for Aang, Sokka especially, but they could both see the pain that Katara felt. They knew how strong her resolve was though so they did not try to convince her to stay. When she had told the necessary people of her impending travel, she sat alone in her home. She supposed it wouldn’t be her home for a long while now. Katara knew that a second Fire Nation ship was due to leave in an hour so she hurriedly wrote another letter for the Firelord. 

‘ _I am sorry you will get this letter so soon after my last but I spoke to Aang. There might be other air benders out there. I can’t let him go alone. I have a duty to him no matter how much I want to stay. It hurts Zuko that my life is being put on hold again but how can I argue. Aang will always be my duty and his will always be the world and now his people. I just needed to tell someone, tell you how conflicted I am. I know you will understand._

_All my love,_

_Katara’_

The next morning they left on Appa and she tried her best to hide her tears. 

She would soon receive a letter in reply, the first words ‘ _Katara, I am so sorry.”_


	4. Splinters of Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A teeny bit early. This is a big one. 
> 
> Love Zeo x

4 ASC

Zuko - 20 Katara - 18

Katara and Aang were to arrive in the Fire Nation within the hour. They were coming to his nation for a short visit. In the Fire Nation, they had 4 people come forward as air benders, something that Zuko knew must have taken a huge amount of courage considering the Fire Nations track record with air benders. Zuko had allowed them to come to the palace as a show of good faith and protection. Aang wanted to come to get these benders in person and take them to the permanent Air settlement he had built in the West. 

Zuko was incredibly nervous to see Avatar and his constant companion. Zuko knew almost too much about their relationship, the constant fights, and the private tears that Katara shed at night. The pressure from Aang that they would marry each other one day. ‘ _ It was expected _ ’ Katara had written in one of her letters.

The deterioration of their relationship was slow and painful. Katara always justified that Aang was under a lot of stress, how he was still young, how he was leading his own small nation now. But Zuko was less forgiving. It was tearing Katara apart, he hated reading Katara’s words of pain. Her pain left a mark on him, as though Zuko was trying to carry some of it for her. 

Zuko could not act as though he was doing any better. Zuko liked having Mai by his side, she was his ally but a true relationship it was not. They kept up appearances, Mai’s favorite thing to do, but even their facade was cracking. The pressure to marry was becoming too much. It was all the nobles wanted. This request hung over Zuko and weighed him down. It would be easier to give in, Zuko would be married and the nobles would be happy but Zuko would not be. He would live as his mother had done before him out of duty rather than to live his life how he saw fit. Zuko was a coward though, he couldn’t take the leap. 

Mai was nowhere to be seen in the palace on the morning of the Avatar’s arrival so he went to greet his visitors alone. Zuko had put on his most formal robes and they acted like armor. His hair was done traditionally, half was pulled into a top knot and the rest hung just past his shoulders; it helped to create an illusion of a man that was in control. It projected confidence that was not there. Zuko waited in the throne room but not behind the wall of fire, instead, he paced back and forward like a trapped deer dog waiting for hunters to finish the job. 

The large doors of the room shifted and his guests were announced to him. The avatar walked in proudly but it wasn’t him Zuko was looking at. As the water bending woman moved into the room she looked so small, she looked tired. He doubted it was from lack of sleep, it was from life and what it had put her through. She shuffled in, her eyes barely raising from the floor. Zuko desperately wanted to look into her eyes, to tell her without words it would be okay even if he didn’t believe that himself. 

“Good to see you Firelord” Aang's voice rang clear in the empty room. The avatar gave Zuko a formal Fire Nation greeting, his fist pressed against his open hand as he bowed. They were friends, it would be normal for them to do away with the formalities but Zuko felt too bitter for that. He should hug his old friend but all he could think about was the pain he was causing Katara. It left a bad taste in his mouth. Instead, he returned Aang's formal greeting. 

Once they raised from their bows Zuko spoke. “You don’t have to call me that you know, I am still just Zuko.” 

“Hmm, how about Sifu Hotman instead?” Aang gave a wide smile and Zuko softened, slightly. 

Zuko returned a half-smile “That’s even worse.” How could Aang be so himself? Surely his situation with Katara had to affect him as well. 

Remembering his other guest, Zuko turned towards her. Katara’s eyes were still low. 

“Good to see you Katara.” Blue eyes flicked up and met his own gold eyes. She smiled. 

“And you Zuko.” Just as soon as her eyes had met him they left. 

There was an awkward pause. 

Aang, ever oblivious, moved the conversion onwards. “So where are my people then?” 

Later in the day after Zuko had taken the Avatar to meet the air benders, he was left alone with Katara. She had perked up a bit, it was a joyous occasion after all. Aang was enthusiastic and wanted to get to know the new benders as much as possible seemingly in just one excited conversation so Katara and Zuko slipped out of the room. Alone they still didn’t speak but they soon found themselves wandering the grounds as they so often did when they were in the company of one another. 

They sensed there was a lot to discuss but neither was inclined to start baring their problems. It was so easy in letters when you couldn’t see plainly on faces what each other was thinking. Talking in person seemed more raw, like the nerves were exposed. Instead, they talked of Katara’s brother. For that was a happier conversation. 

In the last year Sokka and Suki had built up their friendship again but, like moths to a flame, they couldn’t stay just friends. Both of them were lost without each other. Like Tui and La, it was inevitable that they were to circle each other for the rest of their lives. 

It had started as letters, then visits with political reasons and then visits to each other for no reason at all but to be with each other. Their bond to one another was sealed. Katara spoke of the necklace that Sokka had carved for Suki. A beautiful polished green stone with an intricate design of a sword and a fan. Fitting. 

Sokka and Suki had agreed that while Sokka could not leave his duties in the Water Tribe, Suki would start the transition to leave her own duties. As painful as Zuko was sure that was for Suki, they seemed incredibly happy from the letters he had received from them both. Zuko wanted to think of their relationship as a lucky one but they had been through hardships, their feelings for one another were too important to them to let that be an obstacle. 

Zuko and Katara found themselves on the edge of the dormant volcano that the palace lay within. They could see the ocean from here, it was peaceful. 

Under the beating noon sun, they held a tentative silence. Their hair whipped around their faces in the strong wind. Both Zuko and Katara faced out towards the ocean, the sun creating sparkling diamonds on its surface. Katara’s eyes still looked sad, some unspeakable torment behind them. Zuko couldn’t stand it. 

“Katara can’t bear seeing you like this.” He truly meant it, this wasn’t her. She was normally so full of emotion and life like there was too much to enjoy in life and not enough time to enjoy it. This Katara that sat before him seemed beaten up by the world like she was merely a side character in her own story. 

“Zuko, you don’t know what you are talking about.” She didn’t even turn to look at him. 

“Bullshit.” The words ground past his teeth. “That's bullshit and you know it. I know better than anyone, or have you been lying in your letters? I thought we could talk to each other about anything!” Zuko waved his hands out from his sides in a sharp movement. 

Abruptly Katara took to her feet. “Of course I haven’t lied to you! But it is complicated.” Her eyes shone with frustration. 

“Then explain it to me. Because as far as I understand you travel with a man that doesn’t care about what you want, who only thinks about what his next goal is. And you put up with it!” Zuko mirrored her stance and they faced off, if anyone was to look at them they might have thought they were about to spar. 

Katara’s finger came up and pushed into Zuko’s chest, she hadn’t meant to but it was centered on his scar. “Don’t you dare. Who are you to judge? Oh, great Firelord who can’t admit to himself that he doesn’t want to marry his own girlfriend.” It was a low blow, but something that Zuko could not deny. 

“You are miserable Katara, you have barely said a word, you didn’t even look at me when you first arrived. It was like you didn’t even want to be here. I can’t stand you being in this pain.” Zuko’s face crinkled into a grimace. 

“No you are right I didn’t want to be here.” The words acted like a flash of white-hot pain, it filled his whole body. 

“So what, you can’t stand me anymore?” Zuko almost staggered back. After all the letters, the words of pain and comfort. Katara was his one lifeline. What if she didn’t want that anymore? It was like he couldn’t breathe. 

Katara’s face softened, realising evidently what she had implied. She reached for the right words. 

“No, no Zuko. Not like that. I promise. I just knew that coming here would make it all real. The fact that I am so done with it all. You would make me confront my feelings. Because you can see through me. You always have. Where Aang can’t even see what I am dealing with in-person you have already understood in letters.” Karata spoke to reassure Zuko but he still was stunned by the words. 

“So you didn’t want to come to see me because you know I just want to help? I am your friend Katara. You can’t blame me for wanting to help you.” Zuko looked down not wanting to look at her. 

“No you are right I can’t. I'm sorry, I'm just a coward.” Katara slumped back down and crossed her legs. Zuko followed her movements. 

“You aren’t a coward. You are just a bit lost.” Tears spilled out over Katara’s cheeks and Zuko immediately reached out to wipe them away. “Talk to me Katara. Let me help.” 

“I can’t stand that Aang is blind to the fact that I feel useless, he can’t see that I just want to go home. But I also hate myself for holding onto the fact I have a duty to him. He is the avatar and I should help him. It should be an honor. I am the partner of the Avatar. I should be grateful. But worst of all…” Katara took in a stuttery breath, the words didn’t want to come out. Zuko took her hand in an attempt to comfort her. 

“It's okay Katara, tell me.” Zuko squeezed Katara’s hand and she returned the gesture. The tears flowed even harder. Her next words were spoken quietly, a whisper as if the spirits might hear and she would offend them. 

“Worst is… I do all this for him, a person I- I no longer love.” Zuko didn’t know what to say. Instead of speaking he pulled her close and held her to his chest. Katara sobbed into his robe. 

As if getting used to how the words sounded, she repeated herself. “I don’t love him. I don’t love Aang.” Zuko doubted she had ever spoken these words out loud or even fully come to terms with them before telling him. 

“I just don’t know what to do. Zuko what do I do?” Katara kept her head on his chest but turned her chin up to look at him. 

Zuko thought for a moment. Even though he hadn’t talked through his own problems with Katara Zuko felt as though he was coming to terms with his own predicament with Mai. In times where wisdom was needed his mind always strayed to his uncle. Zuko coughed to clear his throat. 

“I don’t think I can answer that for you Katara.” The water bender looked disappointed. “But I think we need to ask these questions first.” 

Katara waited patiently, hanging off his words. 

“Who are you and what do you want?” 

Katara sat up, listening “Once you have answered those questions, not taking into account anyone else, you should have your answers.” Katara digested his words, mulling them over in her head. 

“Who am I? I don’t really remember who I was before Aang now. It’s difficult to see myself as separate. But I suppose I am someone who wants to help her people in any way possible. The people who I fought so hard for. I am a person who is tired.” Katara looked sad at her own words. 

“And what do you want?” Zuko pushed her thoughts forward, not allowing her to pause and think of the avatar. 

“I- I want to go home and stay home for as long as I want.” Katara had her answer. This is what she wanted and she should do it, for once not thinking about duty. 

“Good. Go home Katara, be with your people without worrying about your impending departure. You don’t owe anything to Aang, you have already given him nearly 5 years of your life.” Zuko stared at her intently, hoping these words would take root in her. 

“But what about you?” Karata questioned. 

“What about me?” 

“You can’t sit here and claim that I am the only one that is miserable. You may have your traditional robes and your crown but you look tired. You don’t look like yourself.” Of course, it would only be Katara that would see through his amour. 

“I don’t really know where to start.” Zuko said. 

A small smile appeared on Katara’s lips. “You know a wise man once said something to me that really helped.” Her smile grew bigger. 

“Do tell.” Zuko would hear any advice if it helped him. 

Katara grabbed Zuko’s hand and held it between them. 

“Who are you and what do you want?” She said, smiling. Zuko laughed. 

Zuko kept hold of Katara’s hand and held it to his chest over his scar. “I guess I am just Zuko and I don’t want to be married.” 

Their eyes locked together, really seeing each other. 

“That’s a good place to begin, start with that.” Was all she said. 

They sat there like that for a while content to just be in each other’s company. Neither of them wanted to return to the real world. They wanted to stay in their own bubble where outside influences were nullified, even if it was just for a short time. 

\------------

Breathing in as deep as she could, Katara found the courage to knock on the door to the room she shared with Aang when they stayed in the Fire Nation. It felt strange to knock but it felt appropriate for what she was about to say. They were supposed to leave today, ‘no point in waiting around’ Aang had said wanting to get his Air Benders settled in their new home. 

Once entering the room she found Aang sitting on the edge of their bed looking at a map of the world. 

“Oh, it’s you Katara. Why did you knock? You can be weird sometimes. Oh well, never mind I wanted to show you something.” Aang held up the map and pointed to a small island north of the Fire Nation. “I thought it would be an excellent place to take the new air benders, Zuko said that there is going to be a festival to celebrate the summer solstice! It is on the way so I thought why not!” 

“Aang I have to-” Katara was cut off and Aang continued. 

“I know we said that we would stop off at the Southern Water Tribe but I thought this might be a little more interesting.” Aang looked so joyful, he reminded Katara of the young boy she got out of the ice nearly five years before. The boy that she felt so much duty towards. But Katara couldn’t think of that, she had to be strong. Who was she and what did she want?

“Aang listen-” She tried again. 

“I know you wanted to go home but I thought you wouldn’t mind. The festival will be so exciting and-” Aang almost bounced around the room. 

“Aang for La’s sake, just listen to me! For once just listen!” Katara’s words burst from her, she was unable to control them. 

All movement in the room stopped and Katara’s shout seemed to ring against the walls. Aang stood facing her, his eyes wide. 

“Katara-” He started. 

The water bender shook her head. “No Aang, just listen to me. I am not going.” 

Aang’s eyebrows drew together. “We don’t have to go, I just thought it would be fun. We can visit the Water Tribe some other time.” He pouted and Katara was reminded of just how young he was. 

“No Aang. I am not going with you anywhere. I’m going home.” Katara’s resolve was set but it didn’t make the words any easier. 

“I don’t understand.” The avatar moved back towards the bed and when the backs of his knees found it he sat down. The map still clutched in one hand.

“Aang, have you really not noticed how miserable I am. I miss my home, the place I fought for. I miss my people.” Katara’s voice was soft as she spoke. 

Aang looked pained. “But what about my people? They need me.” 

Katara took a seat next to Aang. “You are right. They do need you, but they don’t need me. I have to go home.” 

Aang's voice took on an edge of anger. “But what about me Katara? Have you not thought of that? You have to come with me.” 

“Aang you don’t need me, you just think you do. If you really thought about it you would see that.” Katara tried to be calm but it was difficult with tears that threatened to fall. 

Aang looked as though he didn't know how to respond and his words fell out messily. “That’s just what we do, I have to go on some journey and you help me.” 

This hurt Katara, why was it always centered on him. “Aang that's the whole point, you never think about what I want to do and what I need. I have always felt like I had some kind of responsibility for you. But it’s not fair on me Aang.” 

The avatar abruptly stood up, he kept his back to her. 

“Not fair? But I love you, I thought that's what you do when you are in love. You do anything for them. Why can’t you do this for me?” Aang’s shoulders were tense. 

Katara sighed. “Aang you couldn’t even spend 6 months at a time in the Water tribe for me. I have done everything in the last 5 years for you. Never for me. I have to go after what I want and I want to go home.” Katara stood up and placed a hand on Aang’s shoulder and he turned to face her finally, his eyes filled with tears. 

“But I love you.”

Katara’s hand fell limply to her side and she cast her eyes down not willing to see the pain in his face. 

“I care for you Aang. I really do. But… I don’t love you anymore.” It was like Aang had been dealt a physical blow, he fell to his knees. 

“You don’t mean that Katara, just come with me and you’ll be happy.” Aang’s hands rubbed over his face. He wiped away his tears and left his cheeks red. 

“I do mean it. I am so sorry. Over the last year, I have come to realise it.” Katara still refused to look at him. 

“Zuko made you think this didn’t he?” The words were filled with anger. 

Katara was shocked and her voice cracked. “WHAT? No!” 

Aang stood up and moved to pace back and forth. “You write to him all the time, it feels like you talk to him more than me.” 

Katara was angry, how could he blame Zuko, when it was Aang’s own inability to care for what she wanted that has caused this. Her anger got the better of her. 

“MAYBE BECAUSE HE ACTUALLY LISTENS!” She almost screamed the words. “You never listen to me Aang. For once, please, listen to what I am saying. Zuko had nothing to do with this. This is my decision. I don’t want to go with you, I want to go home. You never have any concern for my feelings. I really am happy for you finding your people. But I am sorry Aang I can’t be with you anymore. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care for what I want and I can’t be with someone that I don’t love.”

It was like Katara could see Aang’s heart shatter, the splinters of his glass heart tearing open his chest. 

Aang gathered his belongings not once looking at Katara as she stood immobilized by the edge of the bed. It didn’t take long for Aang to pack, for monks do not have many possessions. 

“I am leaving with the air benders. Goodbye Katara.” Not once did look in her direction as the door slammed and he left her life. 

Katara broke. She crumpled onto the floor and sobbed. She sobbed for the loss of her friend, she sobbed for the memories they had together. She sobbed until she had nothing else to give. 


	5. Together, until we are not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter so decided to post as a midweek update. The Sunday update might be a little late as I am away this weekend. 
> 
> This is set straight after the last Chapter.   
> 4 ASC  
> Zuko - 20 Katara - 18 
> 
> Big Love, Zeo x

“Firelord Zuko.” One of Zuko’s guards walked into his office and performed a low bow. Zuko acknowledged for him to continue but did not stop to look up from his papers. Zuko picked up his brush and dipped it in some ink to make a correction on the document in front of him.

The guard stood up straight. “My apologies for disturbing you Firelord Zuko. The Avatar informed us that he was leaving immediately. In fact, I think he has already left with the air benders. However, Master Katara is still here. Lady Mai went to see her but she is refusing to see anyone.” 

Zuko’s brush clattered onto the paper, ruining it. The Firelord stood abruptly and his chair scraped on the stone floor. 

Half running through the corridors, Zuko could barely think. Had she done it? Had she told the Avatar her wishes. 

When Zuko reached Katara’s room he saw a few guards either side of the door and Mai leant against it, her right hand resting on the wood. 

“Katara please, open up. I am worried. I need to see if you are okay. Please.” Mai’s voice pleaded through the heavy wooden door. Mai rarely showed emotions but her voice was thick with worry. When Mai noticed Zuko’s arrival she whirled around abruptly and stood in front of him. “Zuko, she had been in there for an hour. She won’t open it up. Something has happened with Aang, he left so fast. She won’t listen to me, though, maybe you can get through to her?” 

Zuko placed a hand on Mai’s shoulder and squeezed. “Maybe.” 

Zuko strode up to the door, leaning against it. With a wave of his hands, he dismissed the guards. This was not for prying eyes. 

Zuko coughed to clear his throat. “Katara? Katara it’s me, please open up. We’re worried about you. You don’t have to tell us what happened but we need to see if you’re okay.” 

There was no response. Mai came closer to the door and placed a hand on his arm. Zuko looked into Mai’s eyes, full of concern. 

“Please Katara, I am begging you. Just open the door.” Zuko let his head fall to rest on the wood. Willing her to open it. 

Movement was heard behind the door and finally, it opened. Not all the way at first but slowly it showed the broken water bender. Her hair was twisted into unusual shapes, her clothes creased and her eyes so bloodshot there was barely any white left. 

“Katara…” He didn’t ask what happened but the question hung between them, heavy. 

Tears flowed freely down her face. “I told him.” Mai looked confused, still standing at Zuko’s side. 

Zuko pressed gently. “Told him that you wanted to go home?” 

Katara wrapped her arms in front of her, her fingertips pressed into her skin so tight that it lightened in colour. “Not just that… I told him. I told him I didn’t love him.” A heart-wrenching sob broke through her body and her knees seemed to collapse underneath her. Zuko quickly stepped forward and collected her into his arms, both of them coming to rest on the cold floor. 

Mai crouched beside them, she looked so sad. Sad for her friend. Zuko’s arms tightened around Katara and his eyes met Mai’s. Neither of them knew what to say.

In between chokes and sobs, broken sentences left her mouth. “I told him. I told him and he ran away. He wouldn’t even look at me.” Her pain increased and Zuko’s hand came to clutch the back of her head. He cradled it against his chest. Mai reached out and rubbed Katara’s back in a soothing motion. 

“It’s okay Katara. It will be okay. He'll come back.” Mai spoke, trying to comfort the water bender. This only made it worse. 

“But that's the horrible thing. I don’t want him to come back, I don’t love him but I hate that I hurt him. I don’t think I could bear to see that pain in his eyes again.” Katara spoke in almost a whisper. Her tears soaked through Zuko’s robes. Mai didn’t know how to respond. 

Zuko stroked her hair. “I am so sorry Katara. But you did the right thing. You have to think for yourself.” Zuko looked at Mai, he told her with only his eyes that he would explain more later. He knew she would have questions. 

With both Zuko and Mai’s efforts, they managed to get Katara to eat a small meal and they stayed close until she finally fell into a deep sleep, exhausted. 

\-----------

Both Zuko and Mai snuck out of Katara’s room and made their way to their own. 

They got ready for sleep in silence. Both were drained, seeing someone you care about in such pain was heartbreaking. 

They sat in bed next to one another, their backs against the pillows. Their minds whirled at what had unfurled during the day. 

Zuko brought his hands up to his face and rubbed them over his eyes. He was determined not to cry but seeing Katara like that broke him. She was usually the rock that everyone turned to in a crisis. She was everyone's emotional pillar. He still felt her small form as if she was still cradled in his arms. She felt so vulnerable as if a strong breeze would blow her away. Like ashes in the wind. Zuko wanted nothing more than to protect her, to transplant the pain into his own body and absorb it for her. Anything to stop her from crying. She was too good for this world, for Aang, for anyone. Zuko left his hands over his eyes for a long time. The darkness was comforting. It was comforting until he heard Mai. 

Zuko peered through his fingers and turned his head. She was crying. Mai never cried. 

Zuko removed his hands completely. “Mai?” 

She sniffed and wiped her face trying to stop herself crying. 

“Mai, she will be okay. It will just take time. They have been together for so long, it is just a shock.” He took her hand. 

Mai only cried more, though it was not like Katara’s sobs earlier. They were quiet, refined tears. They streamed down her face but no sound escaped her except for the occasional sniff. 

“It’s not that, I am sad for her but it is not that.” Mai’s hair lay around her shoulders and spilled onto her chest. Tears dripped onto her hair and disappeared. 

Zuko blinked slowly. “What is it Mai?” He asked gently. 

“That's going to be us isn’t it?” She turned to look at him finally. Zuko didn’t understand. 

“I don’t -” Mai stopped his words. 

“That’s going to be us when we have to go our separate ways.” She looked dead in his eyes. Zuko didn’t know if she wanted for him to confirm it or deny it and say that they would never be apart. “It’s okay Zuko, I have known for a while now that this, us, would not be forever.” She gestured between their bodies with her free hand. 

“Mai...” Her name left his mouth in a groan. 

“We both know you have been under so much pressure to marry, marry me specifically. I was mad at first when you didn’t propose.” She almost smiled, though the tear tracks shone on her cheeks giving away her emotions. 

“I don’t know what to say… I am sorry Mai. I just need some time.” Zuko tried to reassure her but his heart wasn’t in it. 

“No, don't say sorry Zuko, it’s okay. At first, I was angry when you didn’t propose. I was really mad. It was expected by everyone. I couldn't understand why you did just ask. But the more that time went on… I became grateful.” Mai looked down at their interlocked fingers. Zuko felt dumbfounded. 

Zuko couldn’t speak but Mai continued. 

“I was grateful when I realised that you didn’t want to marry me.” Mai squeezed his hand and Zuko’s chest filled with shame. Here was Mai, a high born lady, a class above in her own field, a respected nobel and so overwhelmingly understanding. “I was grateful because I realised I didn’t want to marry you either. It took me time to realise that while I love you I was only going to marry you out of duty.” 

For a pair so young they knew all too well that duty, in any sense was a crushing burden. Duty often meant that you had to put your own feelings aside. Katara was a shining example of the destruction that duty can cause. 

Mai continued speak while she brushed her thumb over his. Moving back and forth. It was a comfort in an uncomfortable conversation. 

“My whole life Zuko I have been the perfect daughter, the perfect noble, it should have been an easy transition into the perfect Fire Lady. My whole life I was given everything I wanted as long as I stayed quiet and played the right role. I was groomed to be your wife. I know so many people say I am cold and unfeeling but I am not that deep down. It is what my childhood made me into.” Fresh tears rolled down her face and Zuko couldn’t take it, he placed his arms around her and Mai laid her head on his shoulder. He let her continue. 

“I was lucky though, I loved you. I always thought I would marry someone I didn’t love but I was lucky. But as much as I care for you Zuko I can’t ever marry you, it would be out of duty. I'm sorry.” Mai’s face went deeper into Zuko’s shoulder, muffling her words. Zuko shushed her. 

“You don’t have to say sorry Mai, it is not your fault.” Just like a few hours before he found himself stroking the hair of a woman he cared deeply about. Except this time he had a hand in the distress that was caused. 

“I loved you Zuko so much, but that love has morphed. I love you but I don’t think I am in love with you anymore. And Zuko…” She paused. When she spoke her voice was quiet. “Zuko I don’t think you aren’t in love with me anymore either.” 

“I want to deny it, Mai, I really do… but you are right. I'm so sorry. I do care for you though. So, so much.” Quiet tears rolled down his own face and damped Mai’s hair where his face was pressed into it. 

Mai finally looked up at him. Her tears had stopped but her face was full of hurt. “What do we do Zuko?” Her hand brushed over his chest. 

“I think… I think that I don’t have the answer right now but I think that we should rest and we will face it together tomorrow.” He looked down at her and cradled her face in his hand.

“Together, until we are not.” She gave a weak smile. 

That night they slept in a tight embrace. Protecting each other from the world that had caused each of them so much grief. They worried for their friend and they worried for themselves. They found solace in each other's arms. Possibly for the last time. 


	6. Promise me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, I really enjoyed writing it. This is the final part of 4 years after Sozin's comet. 
> 
> This is set straight after the last Chapter.  
> 4 ASC  
> Zuko - 20 Katara - 18
> 
> Big Love, Zeo x

The first thing Katara realised when she woke up was how bad her head hurt. Next thing she realised was that she couldn’t take yesterday back, she couldn’t erase what she had done. Katara would cry if she had any tears left. She felt like a ghost. The flash of hurt she had seen in Aang as he fell to the floor was burnt into her mind. It would never be erased. She had healed a thousand injuries, but this was one she could not heal for she had caused it. 

Katara rose carefully. Testing her limbs, they felt heavy. 

After heating the bath with the fire that was left ready under the tub she lowered herself into her element. It was soothing. A needed relief. Her mind wandered to her friends. Both Mai and Zuko had been so kind, so caring. She thought of Zuko wrapping her up in his own body. Protecting her from the world. She didn’t deserve it. She had brought this on herself. If only she had been more grateful and fulfilled her duty. If only she still loved Aang. 

Katara tried to clear her mind and focused on the water. She twirled her fingers, the droplets on her skin danced and swirled. The water moved over her skin drawing intricate patterns, she imagined images in the drops, like you would with the clouds. 

When the water became lukewarm Katara rose from the bath. She would usually wear traditional Fire Nation robes that left her midriff exposed to help with the heat but she didn’t feel like it today. Instead, she wore robes that left no skin on display. She wanted to hide as best she could from the world. By her guess, she was still in time to get some breakfast so she made her way to the Firelord's private dining room. 

When she arrived the guard let her in with little fanfare, something she was grateful for. Katara glanced around the room and saw Mai sitting alone. She took a seat opposite Mai and it was only then that the raven-haired woman noticed her. Katara realised that she must have been deep in thought. 

Katara tried to smile at Mai but it was a pitiful attempt. “Mai, I wanted to say thank you for last night. I am sorry I got like that.” Katara looked down shamefully. 

Through her lashes Katara noticed Mai’s hand reach out across towards her, Mai’s palm was flat on the table. “Katara don’t be silly, I am glad that we could help you. I am sorry you were in so much pain. I hope you don’t mind but while we were waiting for you to fall asleep Zuko filled me in on what happened. And I want you to know I think you did the right thing.” Katara’s eyes flashed up in surprise. 

“Really?” She asked. 

Mai nodded and pulled her hand back. “I do, you have to live for yourself Katara. Life is only worth living if we live for ourselves.” Mai looked as serious as ever but there was a hint of sadness in her eyes. As though there was a double meaning that Katara could not comprehend.

“Thank you Mai, thank you for understanding. I wish I could repay you.” Katara played with her hands which lay in her lap. 

“I do have a favour to ask in that case.” Mai’s words drew Katara’s eyes and they looked straight at each other. Katara was so grateful to have this woman as her friend, she would do anything to repay her for the understanding that she had been given. 

“Anything Mai.” Katara’s voice was full of conviction. 

Mai took a deep breath in. “Soon Zuko is going to need your help to get through something. I want to know that you will be there for him. I know you both have grown close to each other. And I want to make sure he has you by his side. Even if only in letters for a time.” The sad look in Mai’s eyes took centre stage. 

“I don’t-” 

Mai cut her off. 

“Promise me you will look after him, anyway he needs.” Mai almost begged. 

No matter the questions Katara had she could not deny the request of her friend. Of course, she would be there for Zuko, just like he had always been there for her. 

“I promise Mai.” Katara’s voice was serious and full of reassurance. 

Mai breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you, Katara.” Mai brushed her hands over her robes like she was trying to get rid of none existent dust or perhaps the invisible marks of this conversation. 

Mai schooled her face into a mask of composure “I am so glad you feel able to eat this morning. Come on let's have some food.” Mai waved over a servant for Katara and continued to eat the food that was already before her. 

They ate together in silence. Katara’s new promise hung over them, not as a threat but, as a promise of future turmoil. 

After they had finished with their meal they rose and Mai said that she had business for the day but that she would take Katara to Zuko’s office. They hugged farewell, clutching each other for slightly longer than usual. 

As Katara watched Mai’s tall form disappear out of sight and she wondered what was going to happen. Why would Zuko need Katara by his side if that was Mai’s usual role? She had her ideas, ideas that stemmed from Zuko’s letters. The delayed proposal, Zuko’s reluctance to fulfil his supposed duty to the Fire Nation. But what had brought on Mai’s request, she wondered what words were spoken between Zuko and Mai while she was asleep. The only thing that Katara was sure of, however, was that she would always be there for Zuko. 

Katara paused before she knocked on the door. A wave of apprehension rolled over her, she had been so distraught last night. And she had caused all of it herself. She had brought on her own pain, she had turned away Aang someone who loved her so deeply. What if Zuko didn’t want to see her. She had turned away the avatar. The man that helped Zuko secure his own crown. But then Katara thought of Zuko’s warm hand cradling her head, whispering to her that she would heal. He had been there for her last night. Katara shook her thoughts from her head and knocked on the door before opening it slowly. 

As she looked inside she saw Zuko in profile hunched over his desk, the sunlight streamed in illuminating the papers in front of him. Zuko’s face was full of deep thought, Katara decided he looked beautiful like this. Here in his private space he was relaxed, fully himself. Katara could not deny that he was handsome. She dashed these thoughts away from her mind quickly, however. These were not her thoughts to have. 

Katara realised that Zuko must not have heard her knock, so standing in the doorway whilst holding onto the handle she knocked again. Louder this time. Zuko quickly looked up and smiled softly. 

“Hey, Katara.” Zuko stood as he greeted her and gestured towards the balcony that was attached to his office. They made their way outside and sat on the bench there. They were quiet for a time. Pleased to just be in each other's soothing company. 

“I want to thank you, thank you for last night. I was a mess and it shouldn’t be your responsibility to look after me.” Katara played with the hem of her tunic, using it as a reason not to look at him. 

“It is my responsibility.” Zuko said confidently looking straight ahead. 

Katara drew her eyebrows together, still not wanting to look at him. “You are not responsible for me ending things with Aang.” Her voice was tense. The hem was starting to fray. 

“No. But neither are you. What I mean is, it is my responsibility to look after you. We have a responsibility to look after the people we care about. I care about you Katara. I hated seeing you in such pain. I was happy I was nearby to look after you.” Katara finally looked up. 

Zuko’s face was turned to look at her. His features were serious. He had really meant what he said. Katara’s chest flooded with warmth. How did she deserve Zuko? He had been through so much, he had every right to be angry at the world, angry and destructive. Yet here he was, moulded by his past but not controlled by it. He had grown to be the most caring, understanding and intuitive person she had ever met. 

“You are the most caring person I have ever met Zuko.” She wanted to express her thoughts, even in a small way. 

Zuko snorted a short laugh. “Yeah well only when it comes to you. I have to pay you back. You were the first person, besides Iroh and my mother, to care for me.” His eyes glossed over, remembering something. 

Katara was taken aback. “But I was horrible to you when you joined us.” 

“I wasn’t talking about then, you showed me kindness all the way back in Ba Sing Se. I will always remember you pulling out that flask of spirit water. You offering to heal me. No one had ever cared that much.” Zuko smiled at her. 

She remembered. Down in that cave she saw the real Zuko for the first time. The Zuko, who she would later learn, was so betrayed by the people that should love him the most. She saw the boy that so desperately wanted to belong somewhere, a boy who was confused. His face scared by his own father and betrayed. She had wanted to at least try and heal one of those wrongs. 

“I remember.” She spoke softly. Katara reached out and placed her hand over his scarred cheek. Turning his head towards her as she did so. The rough skin was familiar in her hand. 

“You always do that, you know?” As Zuko spoke, Katara felt him lean a faction more weight into her hand. 

Katara looked at him, questioning his words. 

“You are the only person who, whenever you touch my cheek, goes for my scarred side out of choice. I thought back in Ba Sing Se that it was out of pity. Pity for a scared, lost boy. But I have come to realise, at least I think, that it is because you really don’t care about my scar. That you realise that it is a part of me.” Zuko turned his head so even more of his scar pressed into Katara’s hand. His lips almost touched her skin. “It’s comforting to know that you aren’t disgusted by it.” 

“Never Zuko. I would never think that.” She meant it, every word. How could someone ever think that any part of Zuko was disgusting? 

“Mai never really touches it. I don’t think she means to avoid it. But she was there when I was burned. I think subconsciously she still sees some shame in it.” Zuko’s voice almost seemed scratchy. As though the words were hard to speak. 

Katara brushed her thumb under his eye. “Never Zuko, I will always think you are beautiful. No matter the scar. You are the best of us.” She tried to fill her word with as much conviction as she could. 

Zuko didn’t say anything in response. Instead, he covered her hand with his own and placed a kiss into her palm. Katara’s heart seemed to stop. Zuko’s eyes pierced her own and when Katara’s heart did beat again, it beat rapidly. Hardly contained by her chest. 

Only just before she had promised that she would be there for Zuko no matter what to the woman who was his girlfriend. She had promised Mai. She was filled with shame. Shame from being so affected by Zuko, a man who was spoken for. 

She felt shame because not once had her thoughts drifted to Aang. 

\---------- 

Over the next few days, Zuko talked to Katara about her plans. She had wanted to spend a few days in the Fire Nation to clear her mind before she went home. Katara had sent a letter to Sokka, she had been brief but let him know that she was coming home soon for good and Aang was not coming with her. 

Despite all these conversations, none had been so intimate as the one on his balcony. Zuko had made sure of that. Whenever they spoke it was in the presence of others. Zuko did not regret what had happened between them, but he felt another repeat of his intimate display would be a betrayal of Mai. He felt rather conflicted about it. On the one hand, if anyone had seen them people would have been sure to gossip and if Mai had seen them he was sure she would have been hurt. But on the other Mai had said herself they were not truly together and being like that with Katara felt right. 

He couldn’t explain it, not even to himself. He felt something for Katara, she was his closest friend but there was something else he couldn’t put his finger on. He had felt something there, something that he hadn’t really noticed before. 

Zuko couldn’t dwell on it. He needed to help Katara make her way home and he needed to decide with Mai what they are going to do. 

The day came that Katara was heading back home. Something he was so happy for, she was finally getting what she wanted. She was finally doing something for herself. And yet Zuko felt sad about her leaving. He didn’t really want her to go, he wished she could stay with him. Wished they could spend every day in each other's company. He wished they could both shirk their responsibilities and go wherever they wanted to. He wished that he could go with her to the Southern Water Tribe if that is what she wanted. He felt as though he would go anywhere for her. And yet he couldn’t. 

Both Mai and Zuko had taken Katara to the docks to say goodbye. It was a happy affair, she was finally going home. 

Once Katara’s baggage had been loaded Mai hugged her friend goodbye. They embraced in a tender way. 

They separated but still held onto each other's arms. “Thank you, Mai, thank you so much.” Katara said. 

Mai smiled. “It is not a problem.” The smile faltered, however, and her face turned serious. “Remember what I said?” 

Katara nodded. “I promise you Mai, I promise I will.” Katara’s face mirrored Mai’s. Neither looked away from each other's eyes. Zuko did not understand what they were saying. What promise? 

Mai, however, looked pleased and kissed Katara’s cheek. Mai stepped away and it took Zuko half a beat before he stepped forward to take her place. 

Katara and Zuko stood facing each other, close but not touching. Zuko had to look down to see her properly. 

“You did it Katara, you are going home. I am so happy for you.” It was true, he was happy for her despite the fact that he wanted her to stay. 

Katara smiled “Thanks to you.” 

Zuko smirked at her words “No I don’t think so, I just gave you some really good old fashioned Dragon of the west advice.” 

This brought a laugh out of Katara. “Well, I'm thanking you anyway.” She took a deep breath in and briefly looked back towards the ship. “This is it then, I won’t be seeing you for a while.” Zuko was slightly ashamed she seemed as sad about leaving him as he was. 

“We will see each other soon but until then we will write.” Zuko placed his hand on her shoulder. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” At the sound of her words, Zuko pulled at her shoulder and embraced her. Katara’s hands came up to clutch at his back. 

When they separated Katara looked back at Zuko and then Mai. Mai nodded at her. 

Both Mai and Zuko stood close together starting as Katara’s ship got smaller and smaller until it was just a pinprick on the horizon. 

\----------

“So it is decided then?” Zuko looked to Mai where she sat across from him. 

The Firelord clutched his hands together on the table. “Are you sure about this?” He gestured between them.

Mai’s face pulled into one of resolve. “It is best for both of us Zuko, we would not be happy if we were to bend to what the nobles want. I care for you Zuko but I can’t live this life. It is the life my family wanted me to lead. And for what it is worth, there is someone out there for you who is perfect. You just need to notice her.” 

Zuko sat and pondered her words. “You mean... find... the perfect person, not notice.” 

Mai's face remained impassive but there was something in her eyes. “If you say so.”

She suddenly stood. “Come on them. If we leave now we will be fashionably late for the meeting. I want to make an entrance.” 

Zuko clapped his hands onto the table and pushed himself up. “Lead the way then.” 

Both Zuko and Mai were dressed in their finest. As they strode down in the hall they looked the perfect pair. As Fire Nation royalty should. Mai’s dress was a vivid scarlet and her hair was pin straight, cascading down her back. Half of Zuko’s own hair hung around his shoulders and the rest was pulled up high with the crown placed atop it. Golden and bright. 

They were announced and both Zuko and Mai took their place behind the wall of fire. 

After the main orders of business were finished, only one was left. Zuko’s nerves felt like pinpricks in his stomach. 

“Firelord Zuko” The noble that spoke stood and bowed deeply in his direction. “There is only one more matter to discuss. Your marriage. I am glad to see that Lady Mai is here also. We, the council, feel as though this matter has been put off long enough.” 

It was now or never. Zuko stood up behind the flames, using them as a shield. 

“Very well councilman. I have something to say.” The council nodded and waited for Zuko to continue eagerly. 

“I have discussed the matter with Lady Mai and we have come to a conclusion.” There were hushed whispers at his words. Excited whispers. 

“We talked at length and we have both agreed. We will not be getting married.” There was an uproar. All members present talking over each other at once. 

“But Firelord Zuko-” Zuko raised his hand to silence them, it took a moment but quiet did come. 

“There is no discussing this. I will hear all your thoughts in any situation regarding state, but my word is final when it comes to personal matters. I understand that you want to see the Fire Nation secure, and that time will come, but I am young and the nation should be far more concerned about other matters first.” Zuko remained standing, daring anyone to speak against him. The flames seemed to make the gold of his eyes dance. 

The nobles clearly disagreed with the decision but did not argue further. 

“That is the last I will hear of the matter until I wish to speak of it. Lady Mai wishes to leave the capital. We are no longer courting each other. No one is to speak to her unless she wishes. I trust that is understood.” Zuko glanced at Mai, it almost seemed like tears threatened to fall down her face but she remained calm. 

“If that was all for today, then you are dismissed.” Zuko finally sat back down. One by one the council bowed and left the room. Leaving Mai and Zuko to feel the weight of what they just announced. 

“Thank you, Zuko.” Mai didn’t look at him, rather she stared at the empty council seats. “For once in my life, I am finally not doing as I’m told. You freed me.” Without looking she reached out for his hand and gave it a squeeze. 

“No thank you.” 

A look of surprise flashed over her face. “For what?” She asked. 

“For understanding that I wanted something different. Thank you for saving me from duty.” Zuko smiled at Mai. 

“We did it together.” She smiled weakly. 

Zuko breathed a sigh. “Together and now we are not.” 

\----------- 

_ Dear Katara,  _

_ I am so glad to hear you are happy being home. I am sure everyone is loving having you back. You are going to thrive in the south Katara. You deserve this so much.  _

_ I hope you are not too sad about Aang. I know from your last letter that you still think of him, but remember why you did this. You are allowed to want, you are allowed to have and serve your own dreams. Remember that Katara.  _

_ I have something big to tell you but I am not really sure how to start. I guess I should start with the basics.  _

_ Mai and I are no longer together.  _

_ We spoke together the night that you left Aang. I think seeing that scene made Mai realise what she wanted. And what she wanted was to not be with me and to not be married to me. I want you to know that while I am sad about it I really am okay. It took her words to make me realise that I wasn’t just putting off marrying. I was putting off marrying Mai. I care for her but we were not in love anymore. Some relationships are not meant to last, they run their course and their role was to change you and make you a better person. I am just glad Mai had the courage to say it before we both entered a marriage that neither of us wanted.  _

_ I hope I get to speak to you soon about all of this in person. It would be good to see you. To be near you once again and hear your voice.  _

_ Please do not worry about me. Look after yourself.  _

_ Your loyal friend, _

_ Zuko _

Mai left not long after they told the council of their decision. There was gossip, of course. Many rumours claimed that Mai had found another love, many claimed that Mai could not stand the sight of his scar anymore but most claimed that it was a shame it did not work out. 

It was lonely in the palace. While he had not been in love with Mai she was his companion. The only person in the palace that understood him. Because of this loneliness, the frequency of letters increased between Katara and himself. After his letter confessing what had happened with Mai, he had felt an outpouring of love and support from the water bender. She spoke of the fact that she would always be there for him no matter what. 

Besides the letters to help with the loneliness. Zuko had thrown himself into his work, it was an all-consuming distraction but one that benefited his people. 

It was two months after Mai left that Iroh had come to the capital, claiming that he wanted a holiday but Zuko could see in his uncle's eyes that he had really just wanted to make sure that Zuko was okay. Zuko was happy for the care that his uncle showed him, plus it was nice to have someone to take meals with again. 

After a while, there were to be new talks with the Southern Water Tribe about expanding trade routes further. His council spoke of the need to send a representative to the tribe to conduct talks. 

This had caught Zuko’s attention. 

While it was certainly not customary, Zuko floated the idea that he, himself, should be the one to go. ‘A show of good faith.’ He had said. While at first the council was reluctant, they agreed. These were peace times and the Firelord should be seen being friendly with their neighbours. Additionally, the Firelord would have needed to pass on any agreements spoken of and this would save sending numerous correspondence to get confirmation on each detail. Zuko pretended that he had thought of all that himself and that was why he should be the one go. He certainly did not disclose the fact that he really only wanted to see a certain blue-eyed water bender. 

Zuko hadn't seen but Iroh looked at him from the corner of his eye, with a knowing smile. 

\-------------

So that was the reason. That was the reason that Mai made Katara promise to be by Zuko’s side. Because Mai knew that she would soon be leaving him. That they no longer loved each other. Katara never would have thought this. They always seemed so happy, in their particularly gloomy way. 

They seemed perfect for one another, Mai was the perfect lady. But later as she learnt more from Zuko’s letters that Mai being the perfect lady was one of the causes. That Mai was sick of being 'perfect'. Sick of doing what was expected of her. Katara could empathise. She hoped Mai was well and that she would be happy. Katara had resolved to keep her promise to Mai, that she would always be there for Zuko. 

When Katara wasn’t writing letters she threw herself into her role in the tribe. Words could not describe her relief at being home. Although she had some second thoughts none of them concerned Aang, only the lonely fire bender in a huge palace. 

She did sometimes wonder how Aang was if he was okay. If he was healing. But she soon shook those thoughts from her mind. One day they would be friends again but not now. 

Everyday Katara would help the elders, run a small clinic, help the tribal council with foreign matters, help train with Pakku and spend endless hours with her family. 

Within her small clinic, her pride and joy, she was training new healers and unlike the old ways of their sister tribe, anyone was welcome. They even had non-benders who were well versed in medicines and herbs which were far more plentiful with their new trade routes. This clinic was a lifeline in the tribe. Katara was the first person to welcome new tiny babies into their world and she was the person who helped their elderly pass from it. It was a responsibility that she did not take lightly. 

It was when leaving this clinic one night that she had a clump of wet snow thrown her way. Katara noticed a split second too late and the snow matted into her hair. She whirled around to see her brother running towards her, his face split into a grin. 

“HA!” He screamed, “Katara the mighty waterbender, defeated!”

Before Sokka could even blink Katara waved her hand and a wall of snow hit him full force. When she reached Sokka’s form all she could see of him was his face, the rest buried deep. 

Sokka was laughing as he wiped flakes of snow from his face with his gloved hand. “You are just mad that I got you finally.” 

Katara held out her hand and Sokka took it, the water bender heaved his heavy body from the ground. “Yeah well, one out of the thousand times you have tried so far!” They laughed together. Katara’s arm went around his waist and Sokka’s arm wrapped around her shoulder. 

Together they walked to their father's igloo. And that was where she stayed for most of the night. Usually, after eating and chatting with her brother and father she would make her excuses to go reply to one of Zuko’s letters. But none had arrived for a while so there was no reply to make. 

She was a little worried usually they wrote all the time. Perhaps he was just busy but the worried thoughts were still there. Nagging her. Telling her that he was struggling and she needed to be there for him. She would write tomorrow. Just to check. 

Despite the mouthful of partly chewed stewed sea prunes Hakoda’s eyes brightened and spoke excitedly to his children. “I just remembered-” He swallowed his mouthful “We have Firenation representatives arriving tomorrow about the trade routes.” 

Sokka groaned “Ugh, I bet it is that ancient one. The one with all the nose hair.” The young man picked at his food, making a face. 

Katara was equally apprehensive “Or that one with the weird fingernails. Either way they will be boring.” 

Hakoda smirked. “Oh, I doubt they will be boring.” Sokka and Katara looked at one another but didn’t question their father. 

Hakoda continued. “Right well, now I have eaten nearly a barrel of sea prunes. We should get some rest. Exciting guests tomorrow.” He looked at Katara specifically this time. She was not sure why. Maybe he thought that just because she liked one particular fire bender that she liked them all. 

That night Katara slept fitfully, her mind filled with images of too long nose hairs and creepy fingernails. 

The next morning Hakoda rounded up his children to greet their visitors as they arrived. This was common practice, a chief and his family should always be seen as being polite. 

They lined up and waited for the ships to come into view. There was more than usual. A large ship flagged by two smaller ones. It was unusual but Katara thought nothing of it. 

When it finally came time to greet their guests Katara prepared to put on her forced polite smile but it wasn’t needed. 

Her face broke into a real smile, one filled with excitement. Without thinking she launched herself at her visitor.  


Zuko was here.   
  


They embraced each other tightly. Happy to be in each other's company after months apart. Happy to feel strangely at home in one another’s arms. 

Sokka complained about the fact it was his turn for a hug only to be swept up by Iroh, who had decided to tag along. Watching the happy reunion, Hakoda only smiled at his daughter's happiness. He was glad he had kept the Firelord’s arrival a surprise. 

Privately Hakoda and Iroh would speak of the young and blooming relationship and their seeming lack of realisation that they would be excellent for each other. Neither man decided to comment to Zuko or Katara knowing they would probably quickly deny it, it was both too soon for them after the hurt they had just endured. The older men were happy to just watch from afar when they saw them alone together every night the Firelord was in the tribe. Happy that they had each other. 


	7. Tsunami

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy x

5 ASC

Zuko - 21 Katara - 19

The last year in the Water Tribe had been a dream, Katara had a purpose that was wholely her own. She was an extremely well-respected member of the tribe not just because she was the daughter of a chief but because she had carved out her own place. Katara had worked hard. 

She sat on the council with elders that were double or even triple her age and her voice had the same weight as theirs. Katara was integral to the tribe's foreign policy for she definitely had the most experience in that area. Despite how things had ended with the Avatar it still gave her sway in political circles. Her expertise had come into use countless times, whether to soothe disagreements with Earth nobles or to use her knowledge to convince the Fire Nation traders to give them goods that helped the tribe, she was invaluable. 

Besides her political duties the clinic that she had set up was the heart of the community, no matter the problem, that was where everyone went. Everyday she had the doors to her clinic open to anyone that needed. Her clinic had grown to such a size that it was even recognised all over the world. Many people came far and wide for treatment and training. They had sent out healers to the main cities in every kingdom to help as many people as possible. The clinic was Katara’s pride and joy. 

She was home with the people that she had fought for, they needed her and she helped her community grow. Her tribe was a far cry from the small settlement she had left all those years ago. 

Though, despite how she thrived, there was still some pain in Katara’s chest. Katara sometimes thought of Aang and wondered how he was. They had exchanged a few letters. Six months after she had left Aang she got her first letter from him. It spoke of how his group of airbenders was growing. They were up to eighty-five in numbers now, this included their first airbending baby born to a couple who had met each other in the settlement. Katara was so happy for him. Aang did not write much about himself or his feelings. What little he did say surmounted to him telling Katara that he missed her. The words had clenched around her heart, reducing her to quiet tears. It was in these moments that she still had some regret about her choice. She knew that her tribe needed her but the more that the Southern Water tribe grew in strength the more she was sure that she should have helped the airbenders and Aang. 

She thought that if she helped them they could grow like her own people had. Katara felt guilt for turning her back on Aang for her own selfish needs. She knew that she had been unhappy but maybe they had needed her. Was her happiness more important than an infant nation? Aang was still young, he could have used her help. Katara had not told Aang this in her letters knowing that he would agree with her. Katara had not even told Zuko of her thoughts; she knew exactly the response she would get. Zuko would say that she should worry about what she wanted rather than others. Zuko would likely get frustrated by her regret and tell her that her mind was clouded. To Katara, however, these thoughts did not feel stupid. They felt crushing. The realisation that she had let someone down for her own selfish reasons filled her with pain. It was a feeling that plagued Katara on most days. 

Katara continued to write to Zuko with a frequency of letters that bordered on obsession. Zuko’s words were the light in her week, they warmed her. They spoke about everything and nothing all at once. Zuko knew her better than anyone else. Zuko was her best friend. 

Privately though, she was realising that he was possibly more than that to her. Katara had given much thought to how she was so affected by Zuko kissing her hand. He was meant to be just her friend, but if that was the case then why had that small tender moment left her in such a state. She dreamt about his lips against her palm, his warm hand around her own. She dreamt about what might have happened next if Zuko had moved his own hand to her face. Katara imagined what his lips might feel like against hers. Katara convinced herself that it was nothing but physical attraction, it was only natural. He was beautiful, powerful and kind. Each time they saw each other in person he only grew more attractive. He had allowed his hair to grow long and it flowed like silk down his back. The last time she had seen Zuko all she had wanted to do was run her hands through it. She had never acted on these feelings, their paths were too different. Katara’s path was in the water tribe and his in the fire nation. They would always have each other but at a distance. Katara would never act on this attraction, he was the Firelord and she was a peasant. Katara resigned herself to only ever look at him, she would never tell him of her attraction towards him. It had the potential to ruin their friendship. Katara was convinced that for Zuko that was all it was, a friendship. Katara tried her best to make peace with that. 

The water bender sat in the main building of the tribe and ate her midday meal alone surrounded by people. She was content to watch them go about their daily lives, happy. 

As she people watched she spotted a familiar figure in the corner of her eye. Suki. 

Suki had come for a visit to see Sokka. Katara was so happy for them. Their promise of marriage to each other had made Sokka whole again. He was so happy. The brother she had grown up with had come back to her.

Suki had been slowly grooming her successor to take over the Kyoshi warriors, something that Katara and Suki had spoken about at length. It broke Suki’s heart to leave her position but she was sure in the fact that she would do anything to be with Sokka. Sokka would one day lead this tribe and although Katara had her suspicions that Sokka would leave in a heartbeat for Suki, Suki would never let him. Besides, Suki could do a huge amount of good here; she was already widely liked in the tribe, especially among the young women. 

The Kyoshi warrior had spotted Katara and walked towards her, an arm above her head waving. “Hi Katara, mind if I join you?” 

“Of course not.” Katara smiled and moved to one side to make space for Suki on the bench. Suki unpacked her own food and made a start on it. 

In between mouthfuls, Suki spoke. “Sokka and I have finally set a date to get married. In six months from now.” Suki looked so excited and Katara mirrored her emotion. 

“Oh Suki that is wonderful!” Katara put down her food and embraced her friend, soon to be sister-in-law. “Does that mean in six months you will be here permanently?” Despite the fact, Suki would be leaving her home she still looked happy. 

“It does. I spoke to Sokka and said that it was time. Kyoko is ready to take over the role of leader and in any case, she will be better for them. The warriors have outgrown me now. With Ty Lee’s help, they had become more than I could have ever hoped. I will be sad to leave Kyoshi but it is not my home anymore.” Suki smiled at Katara, her resolve set. 

Katara gave a questioning look. “Your new home is the tribe then?” 

Suki gazed ahead, a smile on her face. “In a way. Kyoshi was my home but Sokka is my new home.”

To have a person not a place as a home confused Katara. She could not imagine being so attached to one person as to call them her home. She had traveled for years with Aang after the war and constantly together no matter if she was in the tribe or not but Aang had never felt like home. Only her tribe had felt like home. Is that what love was? To be anywhere in the world and still feel like you are home if you had the one you loved by your side. Such a strange concept but it must be possible, she believed her friend Suki when she said Sokka was her home. Sokka and Suki were home in each other's arms. Katara was almost jealous, if only she had felt the same way about Aang. 

Katara realised that she longed to have someone she could call home. For a fleeting second, her mind drifted to Zuko but the thought soon melted away. 

Time drifted without consequence as the women talked. Katara and Suki’s meal had been finished for nearly an hour but they stayed on their bench. Talking about the upcoming wedding and the festivities that would bring. It was a welcome distraction from her packed day. 

“Master Katara.” Shoda stood in front of the women, an apologetic look on his face for interrupting their conversation. “Sorry but there is a letter for you.” 

“Not to worry, thank you Shoda.” Shoda passed the letter to Katara, bowed, then took his leave. 

Suki leaned back in her seat and she had a huge smirk on her face. “Ooooo is that from fire boy.” 

Katara swatted Suki’s arm with the letter. “Oh shush you.” 

“Oh come on you write to each all the time, it’s cute!” The knowing smirk was still on Suki’s face.

Katara felt her cheeks warm. “He is my friend.” She said dismissively. The water bender started to open the letter. 

“Yeah right. I am your friend and you never used to write to me that much.” Suki was enjoying teasing Katara. 

Katara huffed. “You were also my brother's ex.” 

Suki laughed. “That's a fair point.” Suki placed a hand on Katara’s shoulder and patted. “Come on then open it. I want to see if Zuko has declared his love.” She said the words almost like a song. Like she was an actor in a grand play. 

Katara glared at her from the corner of her eye but didn’t comment. 

There were two parts to the letter. She set aside the normal-looking parchment and held in her hands the smaller piece of card that was in the envelope. 

Katara turned it over, it was elaborate looking. It was scarlet red and embossed in gold. 

‘ _Master Katara_

_You are invited to the 21st birthday of our wonderful leader Firelord Zuko._

_It would most humble us if you would join us for this joyous occasion.”_

The date was given on the card. It would be in one month's time. Katara would have known even without the date, she always made a small celebration of Zuko’s birthday. She always made a point of sending a small gift to her friend. 

Suki snatched the invitation from Katara’s hands. “Oh a party! How exciting. We will have to get new robes. You have to look presentable for the Firelord. Someone you claim is ‘just a friend’”. 

Katara chuckled at Suki's excitement then she picked up the other part of the letter and unfolded it. It was written in Zuko’s familiar hand. 

_‘Dear Katara,_

_As you can see my uncle has gone a little overboard with the invitations. I was just going to invite you in this letter but uncle insisted that I should invite you ‘properly’. My uncle wanted my birthday to be a big event, I am not sure I agree with him but if it makes him happy then I suppose I will put up with it._

_In any case, I hope you will come. Everyone is invited too of course. I am most excited to see you though, you being there will make it bearable._

_I do have to warn you though Aang has been invited, I know you haven’t seen him in person yet. I didn't particularly want him to come if you would feel uncomfortable but politically I couldn’t not invite him. It would look bad if the Avatar was not invited. I will understand if you are not ready to see him and don’t want to attend. I hope you do come but I will understand._

_In any case, I hope I get to see you soon. It has been too long. I miss you._

_I hope to see you soon._

_Forever your friend,_

_Zuko’_

Katara read over the letter carefully. Of course, she wanted to go celebrate with Zuko but it would be difficult to see Aang. 

“So what did he say? Did he tell you he couldn’t live without you? That he missed your sparkling blue eyes? That he wanted to run his fingers through your flowing locks?” Suki bumped her shoulder into Katara’s and tried to peer at the letter. 

Katara sighed. “We are all invited to Zuko’s birthday.” 

“Why the sigh? That's exciting, you miss him right?” Suki had a concerned look on her face and all the amusement in her eyes was dropped. 

Katara waved the letter in her hand and she gestured to the words with her finger. “Aang is going to be there.” 

Suki turned her head to Katara. “Well I think it would be a bad look if he wasn’t invited but I know that will be hard. All I will say is I think you will enjoy seeing Zuko more than you will feel bad about seeing Aang.” The Kyoshi warrior patted Katara’s hand. 

Katara re-folded the letter and placed it in her lap. “Yeah, you are right. I do really want to see Zuko.” Her cheeks heated up slightly. Katara knew that Suki could tell but her friend didn’t comment; she only smiled knowingly. 

“So it is decided then. We are going to get some amazing dresses, party the night away and you will get swept off your feet by a handsome prince... well Firelord.” Suki stood up and held her hand out for Katara. 

Katara grinned and took the outstretched hand. “I doubt that, but okay.” She chuckled at her friend's daydreams. 

Suki winked at her. “We’ll see.” 

\----------

“Zuko?”

Iroh had appeared in the doorway of the Firelord’s office. His broad frame took up most of the opening, a kind smile was on his face and his hands rested on his stomach. 

Iroh had barely changed, besides losing his trim frame, he was forever warm and caring.

Iroh’s mood had been a constant state of excitement since arriving in the Fire Nation announcing that they would be having a big celebration. Zuko was glad to see his uncle happy so went along with his larger than life plans. There was to be over five hundred guests, food that would make any mouth water, grand music and too many dances to count. Everyone who was considered important was to be there along with some normal Fire Nation citizens, both Iroh and Zuko thought it was important that everyone was included in the celebration. 

Though if Zuko was honest he only really wanted one guest to be there. A certain Water tribe guest. 

Iroh knew that of course and made sure that her invite was the first one to be sent out. Zuko’s uncle had barely stopped talking about Katara. ‘Which foods do you think Master Katara would prefer?’, ‘Which music do you think Master Katara likes best?’ or ‘Which decorations would most please the sweet Lady Katara?’. Zuko was almost embarrassed that he knew the answers to all of Iroh’s questions however he was sure that was the reason that Iroh was asking. He was trying to make Zuko see how much he cared for and knew about Katara. 

The Dragon of the West had not asked directly but he definitely knew that Zuko had feelings for the water bender. Iroh had a sixth sense for those types of things. The Firelord was not sure when he came to the realisation himself. 

Zuko had always found Katara attractive, who wouldn’t? But the feelings he felt for her went past attraction. It went past liking her. It was a devotion. 

If he thought back on his past with Katara he remembered how he had almost lost her. When the lightning had cracked like a whip towards her and his only thoughts had been of how he couldn’t live without her. As time went on these sorts of thoughts crept deeper into his mind. He didn't want to live without her. But she wasn’t his. 

He wanted her to be. 

Zuko was a coward. He couldn’t admit any of this to Katara, perhaps he could have done when he had kissed her palm but that would have been selfish. It was too soon after Aang and he would have been betraying Mai. 

It was selfishness that stopped him telling her now. If he told her that he wanted more and she did not feel the same, he would lose her friendship. Zuko was selfish; he would rather keep his feelings from her than lose Katara entirely. 

After Zuko had invited Katara for the celebration she wrote back quickly. ‘Of course’ she would come, she had declared. She didn’t mention Aang once in her letter. Zuko didn’t know whether to be happy about that or fear that she was too nervous to speak about him. In either case, Zuko was at least glad that he would see her. Again he was selfish, he knew that she would be in pain seeing Aang but Zuko desperately wanted to see the water bender. 

“Zuko? We have to check on the final guest list. There are still a few places.” Iroh had now fully entered Zuko’s office and stood near the desk where he sat. 

The tired Fire bender rubbed his eyes. “I trust you Iroh, on whatever you decide.” 

Iroh looked down for a moment and then locked his eyes back onto Zuko. “The council wants you to invite more ‘eligible ladies’.” Iroh closed his hands together. 

This annoyed Zuko, ever since he had made the announcement about himself and Mai the council had kept their word about not talking to Zuko on the matter of marriage. However, they kept their promise of not talking to Zuko about the matter by discussing it with everyone else that might have sway with the Firelord. 

With a huff Zuko replied. “I told them to keep quiet about all that.

“Nephew, I understand your reluctance and I agree that you should wait but inviting more ladies to your birthday might put them at ease for a little while.” Iroh stepped closer. 

In frustration, Zuko’s head fell onto the desk and he let out a groan. 

Iroh let out what almost might be classed as a chuckled and placed a hand on Zuko’s shoulder.

“It might buy you a little more time.” Iroh’s heavy hand felt comforting. It anchored him. 

Zuko turned his head so his cheek rested on the wood of the desk and gazed up into his uncle’s warm eyes. “I know. You are right. I trust that you will pick out some ‘appropriate’ ladies I don’t particularly want to choose myself.” 

Iroh nodded. “Of course Nephew.” Iroh turned to walk out of the room but his step faltered and he turned back to speak once more. “You know there is a certain lady that might be worth asking about matters of the heart…” His voice trailed off but he didn’t need to say anymore. Zuko knew who he spoke of. 

“Uncle…” Zuko’s voice was pained. “I know you mean well but this is something I need to deal with on my own.” 

His uncle smiled, the skin around his eyes crinkling. “I understand. But remember when you finally ask her on a date I am very good at styling your hair.” 

Zuko smiled back at him. “That is a lie and you know it.” Zuko had lifted his head from the desk and leaned back in his chair as he left out a soft laugh. 

“I try my best, we will have to make you presentable for such a fine lady.” Iroh’s stomach bounced as he laughed. 

Zuko turned back to his papers, still amused. “Goodbye Uncle, have fun planning.” 

“Always.” 

Zuko was glad that he could discuss his feelings with his uncle, even if neither of them named Katara out loud it was clear who they were speaking of. 

Zuko needed to decide if and when he would tell Katara how he felt. It was not fair that he was keeping something so big from her. He thought of her eyes as she smiled, the way her body flowed like her element when they spared, the comfort of her hand on his scarred cheek. He liked everything about Katara. There was not a single thing he could find distasteful about her. Even her faults endeared him more to her. The way she cared too much, the way she became unrecognisably grumpy when tired even the fact she bossed people around made him want her more. 

He was counting the days until he saw her again until he could embrace her as they met once more. Zuko had often in the past been overwhelmed by his emotions. The anger and pain that held him hostage in his youth seemed like a tiny ripple compared to the tsunami of feeling Katara had caused. 

Although Zuko was sure that these feelings would most likely be met with a polite but firm rejection there was a part of him that dared to dream she felt the same way. Did she care for him too? In that way? It was hard to tell. The tone of her letters had remained the same, they gave nothing away. But the part of his mind that belonged to Katara grew almost daily. 

Zuko had no doubt that he would allow himself to be consumed by Katara if she wanted. At first, Zuko had first fought with the tidal wave she had caused but now he surrendered to it. He had already surrendered to the tsunami of his feelings. 

Suddenly his resolve was set, he would tell her when she visited for his birthday. Tell her that he thinks there is something worthwhile between them to figure out together. It was a risk, he risked losing her friendship but he couldn’t let his emotions consume him. 

Zuko was hopeless. He was hopeless and completely infatuated.


	8. Whirlwind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A smaller one. I have now finished work for the summer so will be getting back to writing slightly longer chapters! 
> 
> Big Love,  
> Zeo!

5 ASC - Straight after the last chapter  
Zuko - 21 Katara - 19

There was a bang and then a clatter as the door to Katara’s room opened. 

“Woah! How come you got the best room, that's not fair!” Sokka marched into her room, his eyes wide. Katara rolled her eyes as she watched her brother flop unceremoniously onto the large bed. “That’s total favouritism. I am going to have to make a formal complaint.” 

Sokka ruffled her bedsheets as he attempted to do what looked like a snow angel. “Uh even your sheets are better. I wish the Firelord was my best friend. You get all the perks.” A mock pout appeared on his face as he sat up to look at his sister. 

“I doubt your room is bad, we are in a palace you know?” Katara made her way to the bed and sat down next to her picky brother. 

“True…” He admitted. Sokka’s face morphed into a serious one.

“I saw Aang earlier. He arrived not long after us.” He didn’t look at Katara as he spoke. 

The Water Tribe siblings had arrived the day before, with all the other water tribes guests attending the Firelord’s birthday including their father. Most of the guests attending the celebration were staying in different inns and homes in the capital but as personal guests and a leader's children, they were staying in the palace itself. The same went for the Avatar, as the worlds spiritual leader it was only right. 

Zuko had been thoughtful as ever when deciding the rooms they would stay in. Zuko had been busy when they had arrived so a servant and had helped Katara to her room, when she had walked in she found a note on her bed. The words had made Katara’s heart squeeze. The Firelord has stated in his note that he hadn’t wanted her to stay in the rooms she usually would have shared with Aang. Katara had not even thought of the pain that staying in that room might have caused but Zuko had. Of course, he had. He thought of everything when it came to Katara’s emotions. 

Katara was not sure how she felt about seeing Aang again. Her mind was a constant whirlwind of opposing currents. The push of living for herself and the pull of helping Aang. The more she helped her tribe to thrive the less they needed her and this pulled at the guilt she had about not helping Aang to the forefront of her mind. 

“Hey Katara are you listening?” Sokka prodded her cheek, his finger pressing into her flesh. It brought her out of her thoughts and back into the room. 

Katara’s eyes widened and she turned to her brother. “What sorry? What did you say?” 

Sokka huffed, pretending to be offended at her lack of attention. “Suki said that she was going to come to get ready with you soon. She wants to have a girly time while you dress up.” Sokka made mock air quotes around the words ‘girly time’. 

“Yeah sure, that sounds good.” She smiled. 

Sokka placed his hands either side of himself on the bed and pushed down to stand up. “Good, good. She has convinced a very reluctant Toph to get ready with you too. She got here a few hours ago and she is grumpy… well she is just Toph.” 

Katara pictured Toph sitting with her arms crossed as both she and Suki try to tame her hair… it would be a battle. A fun battle. 

Making his way to leave, Sokka turned and stood in the doorway. “There was one last thing I wanted to ask. Aang wanted to get ready together with me. I didn’t give him an answer… I wanted to check with you first.” Sokka rubbed the back of his head nervously, it made his wolf tail puff up comically. Katara’s chest filled with warmth at her brother's words. Aang was one of his closest friends and yet his first priority was still her. They would always have each other's backs so matter what. 

Katara walked towards Sokka and stood in front of him, she smiled at him. “Of course it is okay Sokka, thank you for checking but he is your friend that hasn’t changed just because I left him.” At her final words, she looked down. 

Sokka let out a breath and flicked her chin with his finger so she would lookup. “Thanks, little sister. I will see you later.” After pressing a swift kiss to her hair he left. 

She was very lucky to have Sokka.

Usually, when Katara was in the Fire Nation and she had downtime she would go find Zuko so he could entertain her. Unfortunately part of the note that Zuko had left her contained an apology. He wished to spend time with her but he was extremely busy with his Uncle and the final preparations of the party. Zuko also had to make sure he was being a gracious host to the foreign leaders. Katara had to admit that she was disappointed but she understood, Zuko had promised to spend time with her during the celebrations and afterwards so that kept her happy. 

Katara would just have to entertain herself for a while. 

\----------

A little while before the celebrations were due to start a very loud Toph entered her room. 

“How are doing Sugar Queen?” Toph stood proudly in front of her. She was taller than when Katara had seen her last but she was still deceivingly petite for such a powerful bender. She was seventeen and was a real lady. Katara launched herself at the earth bending master, wrapping her up in her own arms. 

Toph went to resist but gave up and just patted her back in greeting. “So sappy. But it is good to see you too Sweetness.” 

Katara pulled back, her hands still around Toph’s arms, and gave her friend a huge grin. 

Toph smirked. “You can let go now.” Katara dropped her arms but did not her smile. 

“I am just glad you are here Toph, it has been too long.” Katara went to sit on her bed and smiled at Suki as she walked in. 

Toph draped herself in Katara’s desk chair and threw her legs over the arms. 

“I am a very important person on Kyoshi island, my time is a valuable commodity. Plus you know I can’t see on ice.” Toph speech was broken up by her picking at her teeth. 

Suki joined Katara on the bed and spread herself out. “You did deserve some time off though Toph, it has been nearly five years since you opened the school.” 

Toph thought about it for a moment. “You know you are probably right. I might see if Zuko wants some company in the Firenation for a while.” 

“I think he would love that actually.” Katara was happy about this idea, Zuko and Toph got on well. He likely would enjoy her company. 

Suki sat up again and looked at Katara. “Do you think he gets lonely here in the palace now?” Her face was serious. 

The waterbender thought to their letters, Zuko never explicitly said so but she thought that it was likely the case. His letters were always more cheery when he has had visits from Iroh. When Iroh was not in the nation he became too consumed with work. He needed a distraction. 

“I think he does, he would never admit it though. Too proud. I think you should definitely come to stay in the Fire Nation for a while. It would be good for both of you.” Katara spoke softly. 

Toph sat up properly in the chair. “I will suggest it at some point then. I would need to try up some loose ends but it could work. How come you don’t come to see him more Sugar Queen. I thought you were besties?” Tophs tone was teasing but there was a hint of real enquiry. 

Suki leapt at the chance to talk about Katara and Zuko and bumped her shoulder into Katara as she spoke. “Yeah, Katara he definitely would love to see your face more.” Suki stressed the word love. 

Katara only rolled her eyes and dismissed the questions with a wave of her hand. “I am just too busy at the moment. Besides we write to each other lots so it's fine!” 

Suki and Toph both laughed, not satisfied with the answer. 

“Yeah, yeah so busy. I am sure if you spent less time writing to him you could actually see him in person.” Toph spoke confidently. 

Suki jumped up and wrapped her arms around herself. “Plus you would be able to hold each other.” The earth kingdom woman made kissing noises with her mouth. 

Katara grabbed a pillow with lightning speed and lobbed it at her friends head. “Oh shut up, you are becoming way too similar to my brother. Its not like that.” 

“Yet.” Toph said over Suki’s laughter. 

“Well enough about my habit of writing letters. Let's get ready. Suki and I have a lot of work todo when it comes to you Toph.” Katara pinned her sight on her petite friend. 

Toph sighed and pretended to pout. “But I am already wearing my prettiest dress.” Toph’s voice was full of mocking as she gestured to her bending tunic and shorts. 

“Nope, you are not getting out of this!” Suki rushed forward towards Toph and pulled her out of the chair by her arms. “Let's get started.” 

Katara could only smile at her friends. 

\----------

Many hours of torturing Toph later the three women were ready. Suki was draped in a glorious green silk dress which was embroidered with delicate cherry blossoms. A darker green sash pulled in her waist contrasting with the fuller skirt that met the floor. While the sleeves were long Suki’s neck was bare except for her green betrothal necklace. The necklace was pride of place. She was beautiful. 

Toph also wore a green dress but it was in a darker cotton material, it was understated but gorgeous. The earth bender had allowed both Suki and Katara to fashion her hair into a half updo. Most of her locks flowed down her back but the front was pulled away from her face, her milky eyes pierced though. A crystal headband was the most feminine part of her outfit but tied it all together. The skirt of Toph’s dress pooled onto the floor and hid the fact that she was not wearing shoes. 

Katara turned from her friends and looked into the mirror. She hardly recognised herself. The dress was one that she doubted she would have picked for herself if Suki had not been with her. It was made of light and dark blue silks. There was a light blue sash around her waist, pulling it in and the skirt had a slight trail that draped behind her. Sleeves were large and flared at her wrists. It was the neckline that made Katara nervous, it left her shoulders bare and dipped down towards her chest slightly. The hem was trimmed with the light blue silk and made her skin look luminous. Her mother’s necklace was around her neck and comforted Katara. Suki had worked wonders on Katara’s hair, like Toph’s half of it rippled down her back and half was twisted on the back of her head. As almost a homage to Katara’s past hair loopies there were strings of small light pearls that wrapped from a small headband towards the bun at the back of her head. The strings of pearls were layered sp there was 3 on each side of her head and Katara felt them shift when she moved. 

Katara felt beautiful. For once she did not felt like an average water tribe peasant, she felt like royalty. 

While it was not the goal she really hoped that Zuko liked how she looked. Maybe he would notice her more like a woman tonight rather than a friend. She had dismissed Suki when she spoke about being swept off her feet but secretly Katara would like that. Katara would be lying if there was not a small part of her that dressed up for Zuko. 

“So do we look good?” Toph looked between the two other women without focussing on anything in particular. 

Suki moved up towards Toph and wrapped an arm loosely around her. “We look amazing. You look amazing Toph.” 

Toph pretended to not be affected by this but her cheeks warmed slightly. 

“Perfect, then let's go.” Toph marched towards the door expecting the other two woman to follow. Katara followed her friends and they made their way towards the grand room that Zuko’s party would be held in. 

When they reached the grand doors that separated them from the party Katara paused. They could hear the music playing and the voices of guests talking over it. Katara took a deep breath; she was so excited to see Zuko finally but that did not override her nerves. 

Suki and Toph stepped up to either side of her and Toph reached out and squeezed her hand. It was enough to quench her nerves and she nodded at the guards to open the doors. 

When they stepped in it the room was a feast for the eyes. Every pillar and surface was draped in red and gold. The guests moved around the room some dancing and some chatting in small groups. The people closest to the door looked at the women as they entered, it was overwhelming. Katara’s eyes only glanced around looking for one particular person. 

To the right of the room, there was a slightly larger group of people, Katara soon realised that this group contained some of the most important people in the world. It could, therefore, be assumed that the Firelord himself would be at the centre of it.

As Katara moved to come closer to the group there was a gap in the sea of shoulders and Katara saw him. She saw her Zuko. 

Their eyes locked immediately and Zuko stopped mid-sentence. 

His eyes were a storm of gold. And she was caught in the centre of the whirlwind. 


	9. To the Woman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much longer than usual I am afraid. I weirdly found this one a bit harder to write! I have also had a full-on week and have been a bit distracted by a big life event. I got engaged which I am super happy about!!! 
> 
> I am going away for a week with Family but I will take my laptop and try and write the next chapter (I have caught up with my pre-written chapters :O ) I will try my hardest to get the next chapter up on time but if I don't I will have it up by Wednesday the 12th. 
> 
> Thank you again so much for reading this fanfic. It means a huge amount knowing there are people reading it and that you are enjoying it. 
> 
> Big Love,  
> Zeo x

5 ASC - Straight after the last chapter  
Zuko - 21 Katara - 19

He felt like his heart had stopped. He could not put into words how incredible Katara looked. The water bender's hands were clenched together nervously as she glanced around the large hall, he hoped she was looking for him. As the guests in the group, he was talking with, shifted Katara caught sight of Zuko and their eyes met. Their gazes latched onto each other, both of them powerless to look away. Zuko was sure that he must appear stupid to the people he was talking to as all words fell away from him. The words he had been saying seemed unimportant now. 

Katara smiled at him, the corners of her lips turning up slightly. It was a smile with a huge amount of history, friendship and longing. He hadn’t seen her in so long. All he wanted to do was sprint towards her and bring her close to his chest. Instead, he maintained some level of politeness, he quickly finished his conversation with the nobles around him and made his excuse to leave. 

Zuko was sure the guests were staring at him as he walked towards Katara but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He briefly noticed both Suki and Toph on either side of the waterbender and saw a huge grin on Suki’s face. Suki gave him a knowing smile, whispered in Katara’s ear and dragged Toph away. Katara barley registered her friends leaving, she still only looked at him. 

When Zuko finally got to her he stood close enough that he had to look down to see her eyes. They didn’t say anything at first. Zuko didn’t really know what to say. 

What do you say to the woman that you missed so dearly? To the woman who looked so beautiful, you could hardly breathe. To the woman, you think you are falling in love with. 

Zuko’s cue came when the band changed to a different song. He had the perfect excuse to hold her close even in a room full of people with prying eyes. 

He held a hand out between them. “Dance with me?” 

“Yes” Was all she said. 

Zuko led Katara to where his guests were dancing. On the way, he passed his Uncle who looked like he might explode with excitement. Zuko shook his head at him and just smiled. Iroh only returned a larger smile. 

When they reached a suitable area he grasped Katara’s hand firmly and placed a hand tightly on her waist. He wished he could pull her closer still but they already had enough eyes on them. 

It felt like bliss to have her in his arms, to be with her again. They moved around gracefully, Zuko’s formal dance training kicked in and Katara naturally flowed with his movements like her element. Every so often they would lock eyes again and Zuko was trapped. He had to tell her at some point tonight how he felt, that he thought they had something worth figuring out. 

“People are staring you know,” Katara whispered up to him. 

Zuko smiled in response. “I know, just don’t care.” Let them stare, he wanted this time with her. 

The hand on Katara’s waist felt like it was burning. How could one woman affect him so much? She felt so petite in his arms and yet so strong. The silks of her dress swirled around them and the pearls in her hair clinked together as they moved. 

Before they had realised the pair had been dancing for two full songs. While it was appropriate for the Firelord to dance with his guests he needed to be careful to not draw the attention of his more persistent nobles when it came to marriage. 

Taking a final long look at Katara, drinking in her features, he moved his mouth closer to her ear and spoke into it. 

“I have to do the rounds and speak to people for a bit but meet me in my office later? In about an hour. Do you know how to get there from here?” He moved his face back so he could look her in the eyes. 

Katara nodded her head deeply and quickly. “Okay, I’ll meet you there.” 

Satisfied, Zuko took his hand off her waist and moved their clasped hands down so they were between their bodies. Zuko gave her hand a final squeeze and as he moved to walk away he let the touch linger. 

Walking away from her made his skin itch and his chest beat hard with the knowledge of what he was going to speak to her later about. It brought him both fear and ecstasy simultaneously. 

\----------

Katara felt like her brain was fried. Katara wanted to say so much to Zuko but when he had asked her to dance all the words had just fallen away into an abyss. 

As she watched Zuko’s tall figure blend into the crowd she started to feel stupid for just standing there but her feet felt like lead. Her eyes were zoned in on the space where his figure had finally disappeared. 

“Hey Sugar Queen, you better slow your heart down there. Going a mile a minute.” Toph appeared at Katara’s side, her hand reached to clutch around Katara’s forearm. With a strength that seemed impossible for her size, Toph dragged her over to the side of the room. 

Once they were nearer the wall Toph let go of her arm. “Suki nearly lost her mind when Zuko took you to dance. I thought she was going to pass out.” 

“She overreacts.” Was all Katara said. She knew she would have to face Suki and the torrents of ‘I told you so’ later, Katara weirdly looked forward to it. Being swept off her feet was something Katara had definitely not given the possibility to but she would not complain about it. 

Toph drew her mouth into a smirk. “From the way both your and Sparky’s hearts there thumping, I doubt it was an overreaction.” 

Katara was not sure what to say in return. 

“Lady Katara, it is good to see you once again.” Katara turned her head to the voice and saw a face she was most pleased to see. Iroh. 

After a half a beat she moved forward into Iroh’s open arms and gave him a warm hug. As she went to release the man, Iroh kept hold of the tops of her arms and held her in front of him. 

“I must say you look incredible Lady Katara.” Without missing a beat he looked past her shoulder to Toph “You as well Master Toph.” His face was split into a smile. 

Toph gave her thanks and made an excuse to go find Sokka, something about finding out what the best food was for her to try. 

Iroh looped his arm with Katara’s and started to guide them towards a quieter spot of the celebration, one of the balconies connected to the grand room. 

“I know you haven’t been at the party long but I hope you are enjoying yourself.” As Iroh spoke he gestured to a chair for Katara to sit in on the balcony. He sat in the chair opposite her. 

“It has been good so far.” Katara willed herself not to but she was sure that she blushed. 

“I know Zuko enjoyed himself much more when you arrived. He was very happy to know you would be coming.” Iroh’s voice was warm and he rested his hands on his stomach as he spoke. 

Katara ran her hands over the material of her dress in an effort to stop it wrinkling. “I wouldn’t have missed it, Zuko means a great deal to me.” She looked up and smiled. 

“I am glad to hear that. I know my nephew feels the same for you. Your letters always seem to brighten his day.” Katara thought over his words and they filled her with happiness. Zuko’s letters were a lifeline for her. 

“The letters are definitely a highlight in my life. No matter what I am dealing with I know he is always there for me.” Katara’s mind flashed to her most recent point of anxiety. She saw flashes of Aang. Flashes of the airbenders. Flashes of her home. Flashes of the wider world that she could help. Katara felt her eyebrows crease together.

“Lady Katara you seem as though something is troubling you now. Perhaps you should have an in-person conversation with Zuko? Not just through letters” His face morphed into one of concern. 

The water bender thought for a moment. “I um- I mean I should but I think I know how it would go.” Katara fiddled with her fingers. Katara knew Zuko’s opinions when it came to her and her worries of helping Aang. 

“He might surprise you but I can understand that some things are difficult to talk about.” Iroh did not push. That was one of the things she loved about him. Iroh’s true wisdom was in not pressing a person for their problems but out of being a place for a person to lean on when they needed it. 

“Can I ask you for your opinion?” Katara looked up into Iroh’s golden eyes. They were familiar, they were so similar to Zuko’s. It was reassuring. 

Iroh nodded. "Always.” 

“As I am sure Zuko has told you I left Aang because I wanted to do something for myself for once and what I wanted at the time was to be at home and to help my people. But as time passes my tribe needs me less and less… I just don’t know what my purpose there is at the moment and…” Katara trailed off. It was strange to have your private thoughts laid bare in the open. 

“You are doubting your decision to not help Aang.” Iroh finished for her. She only nodded in reply. 

Iroh stroked his beard. “It is easy to doubt one's decisions when we are at a crossroads in our lives. But I must say I think you have made the right decisions so far. Aang had his own destiny to follow and you yours.” His words were soft but sure in their conviction. 

“But what if I now need to go back and help Aang and his people?” Katara could feel her worries well up at the back of her throat. They felt thick. 

“Lady Katara only you can answer that but I will say I have heard that the airbenders are thriving. Maybe it is not Aang you really want to help but people in general?” Iroh leaned forward and caught her eyes with his own. 

Katara mulled this over. “All I have ever known is my people and then traveling with Aang. I have not thought of a life outside of those two options.” 

“Then maybe it is time to carve out your own existence, one that is not tied to either your tribe or Aang.” Iroh’s words caused thoughts to whirl around Katara’s head. “What do you want to do?” Iroh asked.

“I just want to help people and find my home.”

“You can help people anywhere so maybe the most important thing is to find your home. A home doesn’t always have to be a place-” Katara cut Iroh off. 

“It can be a person.” Katara’s mind went to Suki and Sokka. They were home to each other. A pair of golden handsome eyes and scar appeared behind her eyes, taunting her. She banished the thought. He was her friend, her best friend but she had to find her own way. She could not place her burdens on Zuko. 

“Precisely my dear Katara.” There was a kind look in his eyes. 

Katara thought to herself for a moment. Maybe she should start with helping people for the moment. She was young and she will find her home eventually but for now, she has the ability to help so many people. People that needed her more than her tribe. 

“I suppose I should start with helping people, that's the easy part. I can figure out the ‘home’ part along the way.” Katara felt brighter. 

“You have a lot of friends in this world Katara. I am sure wherever you go for now you will find a way of helping people.” Iroh stood and stepped towards Katara. “They would be lucky to have you around.” 

Katara looked up at the older man and smiled. He was so warm and welcoming. He never asked for anything and yet gave so much in return. She felt safe.

“Thank you, Iroh- Uncle Iroh.” Iroh's smile widened even more at the title she used. He placed his large rough hand on her shoulder and gave a squeeze. 

“Home is where you make it Katara. Come, let's return to the party. I know my nephew will be missing your presence.” Iroh held his hand out for her and she took it. 

Instead of moving to return to the party immediately, she pulled Iroh into a hug. It was a hug for a man who she knew would always give her the council that she needed. Iroh returned the hug and held her against him. 

“Thank you.” She muttered into his shoulder. 

“Sweet Lady Karata you are always welcome. Now come.” Iroh waved his hand in the direction of the door they entered through and they rejoined society together. 

When they entered the sea of people Iroh bowed his head towards her and then made for the table that was laden with food. Looking around she saw so many people enjoying themselves. Crowds of people had come together to celebrate her best friend. It made her happy. Nearer the centre of the room, she spotted a flash of orange. She knew immediately who it was. 

Aang. 

Only an hour ago had she felt sick to her stomach about seeing him. But after her talk with Iroh she felt a sense of clarity. Aang truly didn’t need her. She supposed she had always known that but her need to help people had clouded her judgment. Only a few seconds after she spotted him Aang also saw her. Before she could even think about it the Avatar was making his way over to her. 

His walk was confident but his eyes said otherwise. It had been over a year since she had seen him. His taller frame filled out his traditional formal robes and his limbs seemed less awkward than before. She supposed that he was handsome. However, she couldn’t help but compare him to a certain firebender. 

“Katara. I’m glad you are here. I was worried that you might not come because I was.” Aang looked sheepish as he spoke. He suddenly looked like the boy in the iceberg again. The guilt fueled thoughts threatened to rise but she held onto the words spoken between herself and Iroh. He did not need her. 

Katara gave a small smile. “I must admit I was nervous to see you again but I wanted to come here for our friend.” 

Reassured by Katara’s smile, Aang's mood brightened. “I think if Zuko could only have invited one guest it would have been you. Sokka tells me that you are even closer now, he was quite adamant that it was unfair because you have the ‘best room’.” Aang laughed. Katara felt her shoulders relax. She would have thought that the conversation of Zuko would have been a sore point and yet Aang seemed happy. The last time they had seen each other her friendship with Zuko had caused rage for Aang. Relief swept over Katara and some of the anxiety of seeing Aang was washed away. 

“Sokka just likes to complain.” Katara rolled her eyes. “It’s a palace, all the rooms are nice!” 

Aang nodded his head in agreement and Katara noticed for the first time that she had to look up to see Aang's eyes properly, he really had grown up. 

“I am glad you too are friends, I know he helped you a lot in those letters.” Katara was shocked and she was sure that her face reflected that. “I wanted to apologise for the way I acted. I have come to realise that I was selfish and I never thought about the fact that you did everything for me and I couldn’t even stay in the south for you.” Aang’s eyes were wide but his brows furrowed. There was shame there. 

“Aang I-” 

“No Katara it is okay. You deserve an apology and you deserve to be happy. I hope you are. Happy that is.” Aang looked directly at her searching in her face. He truly wanted to make sure that she was okay. 

“I- I was a little lost when we parted ways. But I promise I am happy. I’m still finding my way and figuring things out but that is part of life. I’m definitely happy though.” Katara patted Aang’s arm to reassure him at her words. “I just felt bad and still do for not helping you and the other Airbenders.” 

“You have to live for you Katara, I promise you that the airbenders and I are okay. We are doing really well. The settlement is growing so strong. You will always be welcome to visit us and not to sound harsh but we don’t need you.” There was a playful grin on Aang’s face as he spoke. To anyone on the outside of this conversation would have thought that these words were cruel and callus but for Katara, they were exactly what she needed to hear. The weight that she had been carrying this past year was gone. As though it melted away entirely. 

Katara didn’t speak at first and Aang looked worried. “I didn’t mean it like th-” 

Katara hushed him. “No Aang thank you, really, that's exactly what I needed to hear. You are a good person Aang. Thank you.” Katara smiled at her old friend. 

Aang’s face relaxed. Katara felt somehow whole again, she felt as though she had her friend back. As much as she knew, with hindsight, she had made the right decision leaving Aang she had always regretted losing his friendship. Their relationship would always be different now but she did want him in her life. 

“How about we show everyone a thing or two when it comes to dancing?” Aang held a hand out for Katara and she was happy to accept it. 

Dancing with Aang was fun; it reminded her of times when their relationship had been effortless despite the world crashing around them. After a while of dancing their friends joined them. Sokka and Suki swirled with them and Sokka’s laugh seemed to surround them all. Even Toph was swept up in the madness. Katara wished that Zuko would join them but she supposed he had to be seen as the Firelord tonight rather than just their friend. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw flashes of him at the side of the room watching. Frustratingly she could not make out his expression. After a little while, his form disappeared into the crowd. Thinking about her meeting with Zuko she left her dancing friends and made her way to Zuko’s office. 

When she got there the door was ajar. Looking in she saw him, her Zuko. His back was turned. 

“Zuko?” He turned at her voice. Katara did not like his expression. It was pained. 


	10. He Loves you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies, life as got in the way a little bit! I was mistaken when I thought the school holidays was going to give me time to write more. I will keep trying to post as often as I can and try and make them a good length. I am especially sorry that I left the last chapter on a bit of an emotional cliff hanger. 
> 
> A always your feedback makes me so happy, thank you for all your support. It means a lot. 
> 
> Enjoy,   
> Zeo x

5 ASC - Straight after the last chapter  
Zuko - 21 Katara - 19

“Zuko?” He turned at her voice. Katara’s face shifted from one of flustered happiness to worry. He never liked seeing worry on her face especially when he was sure that it was his own mood that had caused it. 

Katara moved further into the room and they stood face to face. “Zuko are you alright?” She asked. 

Zuko swallowed. Was he alright? No, probably not. His thoughts assaulted his mind. He was so sure at the start of the night after they danced that he had to tell her how he felt. That he needed to tell her that he had feelings for her that he wanted to explore. But then he had seen her with Aang. It was entirely irrational but when he saw Katara with the Avatar he felt lost. What if she wanted to go back to him. What if she was always meant to be with the Avatar and his dreams of having her in his arms were just that, dreams. 

His heart ached when he had seen them together. But he felt guilty. Zuko had no right to Katara; she was her own person. She had the right to choose her own path. Zuko had supported her fully when she made her choice to leave Aang so he had no right to now be against her choices just because he didn’t like it. 

Zuko realised that he still had not said anything when Katara tentatively walked over to him and placed her warm hand on his arm. “Zuko, what's the matter?” Katara’s eyebrows drew together even closer. Finally, she started to step away. Without thinking Zuko quickly reached out and grabbed at her retreating hand. 

“Wait” Zuko’s voice was quiet and weak. The voice of a man that was not quite sure what to say yet. 

Katara’s body was still quite close to his. Even though she only reached his shoulder in height he felt like the small one. Like a lost child. So many of his thoughts were wrapped up in the woman who stood in front of him. The thought of losing her was too painful to bear. But if the Avatar was what she wanted, who was he to deny her that. He cared about her enough to give her that. 

Zuko cleared his throat. “I.. uh saw you with Aang.” 

Katara looked almost unsure at his words. “It was nice, we chatted for a bit and then for old times sake had a dance.” 

Zuko looked away from her ocean eyes down at his hand around hers. 

“You got on with him then I suppose?” Zuko hated this, he sounded like a fool. This what not at all what he had wanted to talk about. He wanted to talk about himself and Katara, not the Avatar and Katara. But everything he wanted to say had flown out of his mind when he saw them together. He felt almost selfish. It was not that he wanted to see them fight but he thought that might have been easier on his own emotions. But that was a horrible way to think, that would never have been easy on Katara.

Katara’s voice was a little louder this time, more sure of her words. “Well, it is definitely not like before. But that is probably a good thing considering all the fighting.” She tried to laugh a little. Zuko did not join in. Still staring at their hands. “But it was good, we got on. He apologised for the way he acted before which I must say is a massive weight off.” 

“So do you think you will….” Zuko trailed off. 

Katara pulled her hand from Zuko in a slow movement and brought her index finger to his chin. In a careful movement, she tilted his head up so he finally looked into her eyes once again. 

“Will, what Zuko?” Her eyes pleaded with Zuko’s own.

Zuko swallowed “Will, will you go back to him?” 

Katara’s finger dropped from his face and she took a step back. “Is that what you think I should do?” There was pain behind her eyes. 

Zuko looked down again. “If that is what makes you happy.” 

Katara breathed out deeply. In a much louder voice that previously, she replied. “Zuko if you know only one thing from our letters I would have hoped that you, of all people, would know that going back to Aang would not make me happy.” Zuko looked at Katara, her arms were crossed over her chest and frustrated tears seemed to swell behind her eyes. 

“I only meant-” Zuko was cut off. 

Katara shook her head. “No, you listen here Zuko. You know how much he hurt me, you know how much pain I was in. I will admit that before tonight that I still had a lot of regrets not helping him more but tonight has made that better. I know now for sure that they didn’t really need me, Aang confirmed it. He told me he was wrong to ask me to stay. I would have thought you would have been totally against me going back?” 

“You won’t go back? But you looked happy with him?” Zuko felt like a stupid child that was being scolded. 

Katara’s lips flattened into a sympathetic smile. “Zuko I was just happy that I had a part of my friend back. I wasn’t happy because I was going to go back to him.” 

“Oh” Was all Zuko said dumbly. 

The water bender stepped back towards Zuko and placed her hand on his cheek and like always it was on his scar. “Zuko I don’t need to be with someone to be happy. I am starting to make my own happiness.” 

Zuko looked at her, really looked at her. He saw a woman who was making her own way in the world, the world that she was creating for herself. A woman who was strong, powerful and kind as well as beautiful. He thought he was saying the right thing by suggesting that she would go back to Aang. He thought when he had seen the pair dance together that it would make her happy. He couldn’t have been further from the truth. This was a woman that needed her freedom, who needed her right to choose and be where she alone saw fit. 

So how could he tell her that he wanted Katara to stay with him, to see if they had something worth trying? How could he tell her to give him a chance when she had so much more to achieve in the world besides being with a man. 

Once again everything that he had wanted to tell her about his feelings was left to one side. 

It would be selfish of him to claim that she should stay for his feelings. He would be no better than the old Aang. If the Aang that was here tonight could recognise that it was wrong to ask her to stay then how could he as that of her. Zuko's chest burned so hard that he started to feel light-headed. While he wanted her to be with him, he wanted more than anything for her to be happy. 

“I am so glad that you want to make your own happiness Katara, all I ever want was for you to be happy.” Zuko tried to smile through the pain. He was sure that it was a weak attempt but she seemed to buy it and smiled back. 

Katara rubbed her thumb over his cheek. “You helped me realise that Zuko, you helped me realise that I need to make my own home without following someone else.” Zuko wanted to scream. This was all he ever wanted for Katara, but now all he wanted to do was be selfish. He wanted to tell her that she might be happy with him. But it was only a chance, he could not chance her happiness. 

Katara dropped her hand and clasped his own, she lead him over to the plush two-seat chair that was in his office. Whilst they moved to sit down she continued to speak. 

“I will say that I have been feeling unsure of my future recently. My little Water Tribe is no longer so little and I am finding that I need something else to do. Earlier I spoke to Uncle Iroh about it. The tribe is starting to feel less like home, but while I don’t quite know where my home is yet. But I do know that I want to help people. Any suggestions?” Katara still held on tight to Zuko's hand. She looked hopeful. 

This could be the perfect opportunity, perhaps he could tell her that the Fire Nation needed help. Tell her that he needed help. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to say those words. 

Zuko coughed to clear his throat. 

“Um well, I am not sure if Uncle mentioned it but your Clinic is admired all over the world especially in Ba Sing Se. I know you said that you had sent healers there before but you could set up a sister clinic in the city? I am sure my Uncle would be happy to give you a place to stay.” Zuko felt crushed by his own words. When he was younger he found it easy to be selfish, he would only ever do things for himself and to rebuild his honour. Why could he not be selfish now? She could set up a clinic in the Fire Nation Capital. 

Zuko could not be selfish with Katara. She meant far more to him than that. 

Katara almost squealed with excitement. “Oh Zuko that is a fantastic idea. Why didn’t I think of that? You really think Iroh would take me in?” Katara could barely contain herself. The excitement spread all over her face. It even lightened Zuko’s mood slightly. 

“Of course he would, he… loves you. We all do.” Katara smiled even brighter. 

Love. 

Zuko loved her. The realisation slammed into him. 

Once again Zuko’s eyes scanned Katara’s face. He loved her happiness, he loved her smile, he loved her eyes and the way her hair flowed down her back. He loved how all she wanted to do was help others, he loved how selfless she was. He loved all of her. 

But he could not tell her. 

Saying that four-letter word would compromise her choice to leave and her happiness on her own terms. 

“Oh Zuko, what would I do without you.” Katara’s body launched towards him and her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. As Zuko's feet were firmly placed on the floor he twisted as much as he could in his seated position and claimed the hug. His own arms glided around her small waist and pulled her in. While he would not tell her his feelings he would allow himself this. To be held by the woman he realised that he loved so dearly. 

Zuko turned his face into her hair, his cheek brushed against some of the pearls that were attached to it. He breathed in deeply as if to try and remember as much as he could after he inevitably left him once again. 

Katara’s arms began to loosen around him but he only tightened his. Trying to prolong this moment. Katara didn’t protest and allowed the longer than usual hug. 

“Thank you Zuko” She whispered to him, it came out almost like a sigh. 

Zuko smiled. While he might not be able to have her stay with him he could help her be happy and that was enough. 

When they finally pulled away. Katara stood from the chair, she almost looked like she was floating from happiness at the thought of her new adventure. 

“I should probably go talk to Iroh and check that it would be okay.” Katara pulled him up by the hand. “And you should definitely return to your own birthday party.” She smirked at him. 

They started to leave the room and Katara stopped and turned to him. “I didn’t actually ask, why did you want me to come to talk to you?” 

Zuko rubbed that back of his head. The idea of telling her to stay with him, to tell her that he felt for her seemed as though it was years in the past now. 

“Can I not just want to talk to my best friend?” He tried to pass off wanting to talk to her as nothing more than playful. “And besides you know I don’t do very well in crowds. I needed a break.” Zuko shrugged to accentuate his point. 

“Lucky me, a private chat with the Fire Lord to ease his nerves on his birthday.” Katara smiled once again and gestured from them to leave. She led the way. 

This conversation had done everything but calm his nerves. They felt like live wires that threatened to end him. The woman he loved was falling away from him and he had had given her the initial push to do so. 

He was a fool. 

\----------

“Uncle Iroh?” Zuko’s beloved uncle turned around to face him and smiled when he saw Katara standing next to him. Before today he had told his uncle of his plans to tell Katara of his feelings so it was unsurprising that he looked so pleased that they stood together. But one look at Zuko’s face removed that smile and it turned into a small smile, one of politeness rather than joy. 

“My Nephew,” he nodded his head to Katara “and Lady Katara what can I help you with?” Iroh rested his hands on his stomach. 

“Katara has something she wishes to ask you. I will take my leave now and talk to my guests.” As quickly as he could Zuko turned and walked away from the pair of people he cared for the most. 

It didn’t take long before he was swept up into conversation by one of his guests. Despite not wanting to talk to anyone he was happy with the guest that captured his attention. 

“Sparky. Why you moping?” Toph stood in front of him arms by her side, as usual, her eyes did not quite find his own. Zuko smiled a little.

“I am not moping. I just don’t particularly like parties.” That at least was true.

Toph crossed her arms. “You know you can’t get anything past me, while it is true you don’t like parties or people, in general, you were just standing by one of your favourite people. The very person that usually makes your heart go a mile a minute. However, when you walked in with her your heart sounded like it was beating out a funeral march.” Toph raised her eyebrow, her words confronting him. They left no way of escaping. 

Zuko sighed. He was caught. “Well, we just had a conversation that I didn’t particularly like.” The Fire Lord guided Toph closer towards one of the large pillars in the room in attempted to better shield them from curious eyes and perhaps ears. 

Toph didn’t miss a beat. “If it was about Aang you should know that Katara likes you waaay more than him. What’s there to be sad about?” 

Despite being blind Toph never missed anything. 

“It wasn’t quite the Aang bit that has me all ‘mopy’ if you have to know.” Though Zuko had to admit that knowing Katara reacted more to him than Aang was a deep comfort. “She is going to the earth kingdom, she is going to set up a clinic.” Zuko once again rubbed the back of his head, nervous. 

“Let me guess, you want her to stay here because you like her but couldn’t bear telling her that because you are convinced she will be happier doing her own thing.” Toph leant against the pillar smirking. She was always one for being straight forward. 

Zuko huffed at her. “Yeah that about sums it up. You would make an excellent political spy you know.” 

“It had occurred to me” Tophed raised her hand almost as if to inspect her fingernails, which was pointless exercise considering her eyesight. It was merely an action to show that she was confident in her abilities. “Look, Sparky, I don’t agree with you not telling her but I understand that you moody boys have your own way of doing things. She always ends up coming back to you so I wouldn’t worry too much.” Reassuring him in her own special way, Toph abruptly gave a harsh pat on his arm. Zuko rubbed at the spot that she hit. 

“Thanks… I guess.” Zuko muttered. 

Toph raised herself from the pillar, standing straight. “Trust me, I know these things. Give it some time. Well more time, you two seem to be going at a snail's pace.” The Earth bender barked out a quick laugh. "If things keep going like this you two will be in your eights by the time you even kiss."

“You can stop now Toph.” Zuko didn’t particularly like his feelings and actions towards Katara being laid bare. 

“Hmm, I will for now. Anyway, I need to ask you something. Since you never took me on a proper life-changing field trip. Not that I am at all bitter of at all.” Toph's smirk returned. 

Happy for the change in subject, Zuko urged her to continue. "Whatever you need."

“Well, truth be told I am looking for a change in scenery, ironic I know.” For the first time, Zuko laughed “The Metal Benders don’t need me much now and I am getting a little bored. Katara suggested that I should come to stay in the fire nation for a while. How about it? Maybe I could be a spy for you after all.” 

Pondering the idea Zuko paused briefly. Katara had suggested for Toph to stay? Why couldn’t she stay herself? 

As if she was a mind reader Toph continued. “I know that I am no Katara, and trust me when I say I definitely don’t want to get all smoochie with you but I think we would be both happy with the company.” 

Zuko had to agree, he liked talking to Toph. She was easy to talk to, always made him laugh and ever since Mai left he was starved for good company.

“Okay, sure. Stay in the capital. I would be happy to have you.” Zuko smiled at his friend. And for once Toph actually gave a proper smile back rather than a smirk. 

“Good, it is settled then. Since I don’t really care much about the stuff I left behind and I don’t like travelling I will just get settled in after the party. I am sure you are rich enough to get me some new clothes.” The smirk was back again. 

Laughing Zuko agreed. He and Toph continued to talk for a while and after that, the party continued and then eventually began to fizzle out. Something Zuko had to admit he was happy for. 

While he was never really excited about the party it still had not gone the way that he had hoped. 

There was a pit at the bottom of Zuko’s stomach, he had been through so many emotions during the night. Earlier he had been flying high after dancing with the woman he now knew that he loved. But all too soon he had slammed back down to earth in a catastrophic fashion. The woman he loved would be leaving again and she didn’t even know how he felt. He felt helpless. 

When Zuko finally reached his private rooms he collapsed onto his bed. 

A fitful sleep found him finally after hours of trying. His mind was filled with a pair of crystal blue eyes, but no matter how hard he tried to reach them they got further and further away from his grasp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zuko is a bit of an emotional mess in this one. I really enjoy writing as Zuko though! And I absolutely love writing dialogue for Toph, she is always a favourite. I had always planned for more of her as this fic continued so I am glad I have got to this stage. 
> 
> As always you guys are amazing. 
> 
> Zeo x


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